Understanding Hedonism Part 2: Live For Yourself Not For Others

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August 5, 2008

History is full of debauched slobs who drank, drugged, and bumbled their way through life, sometimes to tragic ends. Are these to be taken as examples of the “good life”?

Hardly.

As always, the pendulum swings, and the excessive, unrestrained indulgences of our forebears simply represent the dangers of unbridled hedonism. A touch of restraint and self-control would have behooved these messy characters immeasurably, and from their examples we ca see the necessity of balance and practicality.

But now it seems the pendulum has swung to the other side of the continuum in a big way. Over time, and very surreptitiously, the modern masses have been indoctrinated into a mindset in which no amount of work, money, success, or achievement is ever enough.

Step off the treadmill and you will fall irretrievably behind. Sit down to watch the sunset and opportunity may escape you. The once ironic term “workaholic” is now applicable to an alarming number of people, all of whom believe they simply have no choice in the matter.

This, of course, is untrue. One of the inherent rights that comes with incarnation in this world is (hopefully) free will.

Will the business really fall apart if you stop micromanaging? Will the household really implode if you stop cooking, cleaning, and providing? Will your lover really lose his mittens and wander into oncoming traffic if you’re not there to remind and second-guess every step of the way?

No.

And to prove this fact, all you need to do is die.

What would happen then?

Things would work themselves out, that’s what.

The bottom line here is that you are not your job… or at least, you shouldn’t be. You are not a to-do list, a series of responsibilities, or a roster of achievements.

Your life consists of much more than that, and your foremost responsibility is to YOURSELF (unless of course, you made the decision to have kids, in which case your nirvana may be temporarily compromised.)

By ensuring your own happiness and enjoying your own life to whatever degree is reasonable, you will better be able to share your happiness and infectious joy with those around you. Embracing pleasure is not selfish; it is the height of selflessness.

I’ve seen generations of families work hard and sacrifice their whole lives so that the kids can “have the life I never did” - only for their kids to do the exact same thing, as well as their kids - and so on - and so on.

It’s GOTTA end somewhere. At some point, someone has to stop the madness and live life for themselves. And since the only person you have absolute control over on this planet is yourself, go ahead and make it happen. More than likely, the kids will disappoint you with their choices anyway.

So how does your life measure up on the scale of duty versus pleasure? Are joy, indulgence, and leisure high on your list of priorities, or are you living in a horrid little spider hole of cyber-addiction, work-related obligations, and odious selflessness?

The Top 10 Signs You’re In Too Deep

1. You no longer remember anyone’s phone number because they’re all programmed into your cell phone.

2. You instant message people at work who are seated within 20 feet of you.

3. You make itineraries for your vacations.

4. The idea of a full week without internet access fills your soul with terror.

5. You are bored at home if the television isn’t on.

6. You absolutely must watch the news every day to be sure the world isn’t ending.

7. You regularly watch sitcom reruns you’ve seen countless times before.

8. You are unable to sit still and think in silence.

9. Your conversation regularly revolves around the lives of others instead of your own.

10. You buy shoes because they match your iPod.

In the hedonists mind, the oft-praised principles of hard work, driving ambition, and the quest to win are to be avoided at all costs, not only because they are unnecessarily exhausting, but also because they are ineffective. For those trying to push and shove their way to the imaginary “top”, the advice is simple:

KNOCK IT OFF!

Greed, ego, selfishness, and the desire to gain power over others are often the underlying motivating factors behind unbridled ambition, and any endeavor fueled by such ugliness will always result in ultimate defeat. To the total hedonist, it is far better to expend one’s energies in a positive spirit of assumed ease and the path of least resistance. If you focus on the work that truly matters (the old 80/20 rule) and try to enjoy the process, things will go much more smoothly and success will come much more quickly.

If your work is hard, you need to find ways to make it easier. If you’re doing too much, you need to take stock and determine what is unnecessary. The belief that only hard work is worthwhile is completely absurd. Any work can be “made hard.” Planting a fern can be difficult if you decide that blueprints and plans are required, make a spreadsheet listing the tools you’ll need, schedule the planting and run soil acidity tests before you begin.

Just stick the damn thing in the ground and get out of the way!

In Vedic science, the ancient Indian philosophy, it is known as “economy of effort.” In modern times, it’s known at the Pareto Principle. You will achieve far better results simply by applying your energies only toward those things that are essential. Anything more is wasted effort and only heightens the possiblity of complication.

Of course, in the eyes of a true control freak, this may sound like little more than an excuse for laziness, but that is simply not so. It is the efficient application of resources that gets the job done with the greatest of ease in the shortest time possible.

No stress, no fuss, no problem… and there’s time left over for a nice, long lunch.

Energy is a valuable commodity not to be wasted on futile pursuits or neurotic obsessions when it could be applied to the cultivation of love, happiness, and pleasure.

Far too many people apply their energies to the convoluted maintainence of their own egos and their own sense of self-importance.

“The longer the list of duties, tasks, obligations, and responsibilities I have, the more important I am. And the more important I am, the longer my list of duties, tasks, obligations, and responsibilities.”

Whatever.

If those same energies could be freed up, they could be applied to far more noble and rewarding pursuits, and those misguided souls who are chasing their own tails and insisting that everyone else do the same would be a lot more tolerable.

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