One day he was exploring the 804 area code in Virginia and discovered the strangest thing. Every time he dialed up any number on the 840 exchange, he’d get a recording as if the exchange didn’t exist. However, if he dialed 804-840- and then 4 rather predictable numbers, a lonely ring sounded on the other end.

After a few seconds, somebody picked up.

Being the experienced phone enthusiast he was, he could tell the call didn’t “supervise”, meaning, no charges were being incurred for calling this number. He knew calls that get you an error message or some special operator generally don’t supervise.

A female voice, with a hint of Southern accent said, “Operator, can I help you?”

“Yes,” he said. “What number have I reached?”

“What number did you dial, sir?”

He made up a number that was similar.

“I’m sorry, that’s not the number you reached.” Click.

Fascinating. What in the hell was this? He knew he was going to call back, but before he did, some info-gathering experiments were in order. He tried the 840 exchange in several other area codes. In some, it came up as a valid exchange. In others, exactly the same thing happened – the same last four digits, the same Southern belle. Even stranger, the areas it worked in seemed to travel in a beeline from Washington, D.C. to Pittsburgh, PA.

He called back from a payphone. “Operator, can I help you?”

“Yes, this is the phone company. I’m testing this line and we don’t seem to have an identification on your circuit. What office is this, please?”

“What number are you trying to reach?”

“I’m not trying to reach any number. I’m trying to identify this circuit.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t help you.”

“Ma’am, if I don’t get an ID on this line, I’ll have to disconnect it. We show no record of it here.”

“Hold on a moment, sir.”

After about a minute, she came back. “Sir, I can have someone speak to you. Would you give me your number, please?”

He had anticipated this and he had the payphone number ready. After he gave it, she said, “Mr. XXX will get right back to you.”

“Thanks.” He hung up the phone. It rang. …Instantly! “Oh my God,” he thought, “they weren’t asking for my number – they were confirming it!”

“Hello,” he said, trying to sound authoritative.

“This is Mr. XXX. Did you just make an inquiry to my office concerning a phone number?”

“Yes. I need an identi—“

“What you need is advice.” The man almost spat the words, “Don’t ever call that number again. Don’t even think about calling that number again. Forget you ever knew it.”

At this point our friend got so nervous he just hang up. He expected the phone to ring back again… but it didn’t.

Over the next few days he racked his brains trying to figure out what this creepy number was. He knew it was something big – that was for certain. But what? It was so big, the number was programmed into every central office in the country. He knew this because if he tried to dial any other number in that exchange, he’d get a local error message from his central office, as if the exchange didn’t exist.

Finally, it came to him. He had an uncle who worked in a federal agency. He had a feeling that this was government related, and… if it was… his uncle could probably get to the bottom of it. He asked the next day and his uncle promosed to look into the matter.

The next time he saw his uncle, something was wrong. He was visibly trembling. “Where did you get that number?!” he shouted. “Do you know I almost got FIRED for asking about it?!? They kept wanting to know where I got it!”

Our friend couldn’t contain his excitement. “What is it?” he pleaded. “What’s the number?!”

“It’s the President’s bomb shelter!”

He never called the number again. He figured he could probably cause quite a stir by calling with a line like, “The weather’s not good in Washington. We’re coming over for a visit.” But our friend was smart. He knew there were some things that were better left unsaid… and undone.

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Her Cuteness blathered on about such-n-such issue of little consequence when all of a sudden I heard her shriek followed by a loud *clunk* *clunk* *clunk*

“…Christine? Are you ok?”

It was no use. She’d dropped the phone.

Lingering silence.

…And then some rustling around like a squirrel burrowing into a pile of leaves.

She grabbed the phone, loudly whispering “Greg there’s something over here!”

“What do you mean?”

“There’s someone in here! I swear I just felt the bed move and a hand on my leg!”

“Are you sure it wasn’t just the dog?”

“No!!! A HUMAN hand!”

Taken aback but still not really buying it, I asked her exactly what happened. She said she was just lying there talking to me when all of a sudden the corner of the bed pressed down and a hand, five icy fingers and all, yanked her by the ankle. This is when she dropped the phone, and scrambled out of bed across the room to flip on the lights.

But the lights came on, and… nobody was home.

Confident everything was fine, I said “Christine, if there really was some psycho in there with you, there’s no way he could’ve hid from you that fast before you switched on the lights. Besides,” I added jokingly, trying to lighten the mood, “if he was gonna get ya, he would’ve gotten ya by now anyway.”

“Yeah…” she added nervously, but as if a little bit of my logic actually sank in.

I stayed on the phone with her a lot longer than usual that night to help her calm down and try to forget the whole thing even happened. Which worked. Sortof. Before finally settling off to sleep though, she still dragged her bleary-eyed sister into bed with her.

Because, you know… just in case.

(As an aside, it’s kinda funny how girls operate. Better the boogey-man snack on two young maidens than merely a single. Or maybe it’s an old throwback to prehistoric days; you don’t have to outrun the lion, only the poor schlub next to you Whatever the case, we just feel better in groups – if only to confirm our own sanity.)

I didn’t hear another word about the mysterious visitor until one evening when I spent the night at Christine’s – she told me about some strange feelings she’d had in this bed lately.

“What, you mean like that one night?” I asked.

“No… more like a kicking. Like this,” she twacked the lower side of the bed several times, causing the matress to wobble a bit. “And sometimes… it feels like there’s something inside the bed – under the surface.”

I wasn’t quite sure what she meant, but later that night a couple times I could’ve swore the foot of the bed shook a little. Just wrote it off to my imagination.

That is, until morning.

I woke up around 7am. Christine was already up and out of bed, with the unmistakable aroma of pancakes emanating down the hall. Mmm, food. Nice having someone so proactive like that. Even better when the mess required to create it all is in her place and not mine.

Rubbing my eyes, I stretched out for a couple more minutes of sweet surrender. It’s at this moment I noticed something moving. My arm. Which would normally be fine, except…

…I wasn’t the one moving my arm.

Still groggy, I lay there for a moment watching my right arm visibly move up and down as… something… rolled along, as if just underneath the mattress’ surface, down my arm and across my back.

Only after witnessing this did my “What The Fuck” Sensors kick in and I bolted up out of bed, instantly awake and alert.

To get an idea of what this felt like, imagine a big ball bearing about 6 to 7 inches in diameter rolling around underneath you with perfect fluid precision smoothness while you try to sleep. You hit it with your fist, or yell at it, and it goes away. Then, moments later it reappears… this time at your feet, pushing your right foot up off the bed a little, before continuing to roll up your leg and back to your back, shoulders, and head.

First I was weirded out, refusing to get back into that bed, even for a second. I mean, I could still see it moving around even when I was up standing on my feet looking back down at it. Christine felt it too, but after awhile preferred to pretend it didn’t exist, even when painfully obvious. Her philosophy was “ignore it and it’ll go away.”

Except it never did.

When we called, Christine’s mom suggested rodents might be afoot. Ridiculous, we insisted. True, her room may be a mess, but Animal Paradise it certainly was not. And besides, no living thing I know of could roll around in a perfect sphere shape for that length of time and especially not that smoothly.

Being the avid tester I am, I tried all sorts of experiments on it over the course of my stays. Sometimes it would go away for hours, then reappear just when you settled into bed and got comfortable. It also seemed to prefer the lights off. Turn them on, and it slowly dies away. Off again and it comes back full force. Particular kinds of activity *cough* also seemed to scare it off. It wasn’t particularly fond of lots of people in the room, either.

After I tested just about everything I could think of, it stopped being scary and started just being a pain in the ass. (Sometimes literally.) This is when I got angry with it, openly taunting and trash talking it – something the superstitious Christine did not find amusing. Finally I got sarcastic, gushing things like “Ohhhh yeah, thats it… a little to the right!… no, no…there! Ahhh!”

But deep down inside me still lurked this unsettling feeling – because even though I never dared tell Christine (didn’t want to freak her out even more than she already was), I began to feel the same presence on other pieces of soft furniture in her house – especially the couch and in the other bedroom. This thing seemed to follow me around.

And just when I thought it was ME who was crazy… I’d return home to the normalcy of my own place, and… everything would be fine. I’d lay on my own bed for an hour or more just waiting for the faintest shift or roll, but… nothing. Other people’s beds? Just fine too.

Up until this point, I’d never experienced any sort of “unexplained phenomenon” in my life. Heard of plenty, sure. (Loyal subscriber to Fate Magazine since 2004) But actually happen to me? Certainly not.

From what I’ve learned about “ghosts” (er whatever), they’re always localized to a particular location (house, stairwell, etc) or object, like say, a piece of clothing or a chest of drawers. So if that’s true, then it would make sense why I never experienced anything like that outside Christine’s house, or anything like it since.

So what do I really think it was?

I haven’t the foggiest. But whatever it was, it definitely was not natural.

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It was from a company I’d never heard of before called Finbarr International, based out of England.

Being a copywriter and therefore in the ad business myself, I’m always up for soaking in the persuasion language from just about anywhere. In fact it’s one of the main reasons I subscribe to a lot of different publications – to keep tabs on what different businesses are doing out there.

After reading this one over a couple times, I called my then-girlfriend and read it to her over the phone, which seemed to genuinely freak her out. She said I should be spending my money on my “wonderful girlfriend” rather than on some “creepy word.” She pleaded with me not to order, suggesting superstition or possibly something satanic, but I was adamant. I had to find out what this thing really was.

Here was what the ad said:

The Lost Word of Power

SECRET OF THE AGES REVEALED

Previously hidden. Known only to adepts.

The purchaser of this monograph is cautioned not to divulge it to others. It is the one supreme Word. It is easy to pronounce. It cannot be revealed here. Within it is the heartbeat of the Cosmos.

How to use the Word is revealed in The Lost Word Of Power, a four page pamphlet by Frater E.L. Francis.

The Word is made up of only four letters and can be spoken anywhere and at any time you need it.

We first published this monograph in 1985. Readers reported “miracles.” One man wrote “The effects are beyond anything I could possibly imagine… It is worth more than all the money in the world.” Another man who had failed with visualization, rituals etc. wrote: “With The Lost Word I actually got aid when I needed it. In fact, I’m still getting it.” (photocopies of these actual testimonials available on request.)

It is the one Word the owner of Finbarr International uses when the need presents itself.

The Word brings immediate peace and enlightenment.

It is the one Word that encapsulates cosmic energy. It is the most powerful Word in the Universe and was never revealed – as best we know – before the publication of this monograph.

Use this Word to gain the strength to face any situation.

Use this Word for Divine Revelation.

The origins of the Word are lost in the mists of time.

It was the Name of Power in Ancient Egypt. It was used to speak things into existence.

Humankind merely discovered the Word. It was always there.

The Word BRINGS SAFETY FROM PHYSICAL INJURY. Speak it when you feel threatened. It awakens the protective energies of the Universe.

The Word brings a sharp, immediate increase in mystical consciousness. It awakens psychic powers. It can give you visions of the unknown. I can give you glimpses of the future. It brings healing to the body and peace to the soul.

This monograph explains the Word in four phases. You will learn all you need to know in half an hour reading this monograph. It explains the Construction Of The Word; its Ying Yang, genderless expression of the Cosmos; and the Invocation of Cosmic Energy.

Even if you don’t understand the cosmic principles involved, it doesn’t matter. What matters is speaking the Word.

Speaking the Word can bring results that some describe as “Miraculous.”

If you believe in nothing else in this world then believe in this one Word. It will perhaps do for you what nothing else can. It is the ultimate prayer. It can be spoken anywhere, anytime you need it.

Whatever you seek in life – peace, happiness, love, health, riches – just name it; and for as long as your wish does not violate the Cosmic Law, this Word will bring you nearer to its fulfillment.

THIS IS NOT A GIMMICK.

The author of this monograph is an Adept of the Secret Arts. Initiates confirm its authenticity.

Finbarr is proud to be publisher.

What wonders can it perform for you?

I could’ve written a better (more emotional, rhythmic) ad, but this one from Finbarr still really got me. Due to the low price, it was obviously a lead generation piece designed to draw as many orders out of the publication as possible so the company could add names to their house file and make their profit on the back-end follow-up sales (something Finbarr is exceptional at, by the way).

So I made out an envelope, wrote my check, and shipped it off to Folkestone, Kent England to let Finbarr know I wanted The Lost Word of Power.

A couple weeks later, I get this little brown envelope in the mail stamped from Deutsche Post.

The Lost Word of Power had arrived.

Silly as it may seem, my girlfriend’s words of warning and my friend Jason’s classic doubt (as in “uhhh, I don’t know about this, Greg”) haunted me. For a long time, I just sortof put the thing up on my shelf and never really looked at it.

And there it lay. For over a year.

Then one day as I stocked my bookshelves after moving to St. Louis in August 2007, the little brown envelope slipped out of a stack of papers, bringing me face-to-face with The Word.

By this time, I was no longer with Christine and my and Jason’s attitudes about a lot of things “spiritual” had changed so drastically… I figured “what the hell”, pulled out the little pamphlet, and sunk into my big fluffy black leather couch to read.

It begins by explaining how the Lost Word is in fact a mantra, consisting of male and female vowel sounds, and is thus the ideal expression of the dual energy called “nous”, which is apparently the force of all creation.

Then it quotes John 1:1,3 -

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God… All things were made by Him; and without Him was not anything made that was made.”

I think this is used to at least partially explain why the ancient Egyptian priests used the Word to “speak things into existence.” …or, so they say.

It goes on to explain how the mantra represents the logos; the cosmic energy out of which all creation came. The principles concerning the dymanics of this energy “rest upon the proper use of scientifically constructed vowel sounds.”

Saying this Word is supposed to affect you physically, mentally, and spiritually. By chanting the Word, “an aura, or field of vibration, of very high refinement, is set up around the body of the chanter. This field of vibration has a particular effect on the environment. On the mystical level, the chanter has become attuned to the source of energy itself. This attunement is realized as he is made aware of an increase in the sharpness of his mystical consciousness. Lastly, on the psychological level, the mind is refreshed because of the quickening of the psychic centres.”

Ok, but… is any of this actually real?

THAT is something you’ll have to discover for yourself.

I did some research on possible alternate meanings of the Word and found something similar (but not pronounced the same) in ancient Buddhism linked to a demon who tried to tempt Buddha with visions of a bunch of beautiful women. In Buddhist cosmology, a similar word personifies unskillfulness, and the “death” of the spirtual life by making the mundane alluring, or the negative seem positive.

Weird stuff.

Anyway, the Lost Word of Power is MARA – pronounced as “Mmmaaahhh Rrrraaahhh.” (The A is like the one in “father” – unlike the Buddhist “Mara” pronounced “May-ruh”) In mantra form, it’s supposed to be chanted on the note of A natural, above middle C.

The pamphlet goes on to explain cosmic energy in more depth and provide 2 experiments you can do with the Word to feel its power. On the back page it closes with an omnious warning never to ignore any directives given to you as a result of successfully using the Word – “…this will prove most disappointing” it says.

Do I know what any of this really means? Does any of this have a basis in reality or was it just made up by some random guy a long time ago to mess with people?

There’s a reason I filed this one away in the “Strange and Unknown” section here on my site.

Either way, Finbarr International is one of the most interesting mail order companies I’ve ever seen. They’ve got some good ads too. And since then, I’ve bought a number of their little books for no other reason than just to see what this stuff was all about.

As a copywriter, you always want your ad to have a certain degree of “magic pill” feeling about it. That always sells far better than “cold hard reality” – but there’s a fine line you must walk to never go overboard with magic pill selling so that your ad draws too much attention to itself and becomes “hokey” and unbelievable, or that you’re TOO cautious and lose sales.

So it’s worth studying the works of a company like Finbarr that literally sells magic in most of their products. From what I understand, they’re the largest publisher of their kind in the world.

If you’d like to get on their fascinating mailing list, write to:

Finbarr International
5 Godwyn Road
Folkestone, Kent CT20 2QQ
England

Guaranteed to be some of the most bizarre books you’ll ever see advertised.

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It was called “The I Ching” – Chinese for “The Book of Changes.” My friend Jason also nabbed him a copy at the same time I got mine.

The book was thick. It looked like a daunting read about a subject of questionable value, and since we always had something else “better” to read or a business project to work on, neither of us really paid it much attention.

Until one night, we got bored. And finally we cracked the thing open to see what it was all about.

The I Ching is an ancient Chinese divination system of predicting how your current situation in life will change, or in other words, a way to predict your own future without needing any special powers, spells, potions, or whatever.

Despite all the junk information out there on the internet (especially the confusing Wikipedia article) it’s all really very simple and easy to do in your own bedroom.

Here’s how it works:

Your first step is to ask a question of the text about your life. Speak it and write it down.

The I Ching is based on a series of 6 binary (yes/no, true/false) decisions that are often decided by tossing 3 coins to the ground in the same way a guy at the craps table in Vegas would roll dice. When I do it, I like to use 3 quarters, but really any coin will do.

Each one of these coin tosses will produce either a positive (yes/true/yang) or negative (no/false/yin) result. If the coins are mostly tails, you draw a straight line. If they are mostly heads, you draw a broken line. Continue tossing the coins and drawing one line on top of the other until you have 6 lines.

Something like this:

Six lines stacked on top of each other (from bottom to top) is called a hexagram… which, by the way, has absolutely no relation to geometry’s hexaGON (as I was first confused about.)

In the I Ching, there are 64 possible combinations of doing this, so hence, 64 different possible fortunes. This is what reading the actual I Ching book will tell you; it’s to serve more as a look-up guide book of REFERENCE for these hexagrams than it is some tome you sit down and read from cover to cover.

So after you have your hexagram, the next step is to look it up in the book so you can read its meaning. The meaning derived from the hexagram is supposed to give you guidance on the future.

Easy enough… but does it really work?

This part is a little weird.

In one round when I asked about my financial life and the success of an upcoming business project, the I Ching called me “a prince trapped in a golden carriage”, leg broken and bloodied with difficulty moving, storm clouds gathering, and would be forced to make a very difficult personal decision (tasting some hell in the process) before real success would finally be attained.

Now all that might sound kinda funny and cryptic to you… but to a guy who (at that time) had money, but felt trapped by it, saw tons of possibilities but completely unable to make a definite decision on ONE of them, and was embroiled in multiple personal conflicts existing nowhere but in my own mind… well, let’s just say it hit a little too close to home.

Jason asked a similar question, to which the I Ching predicted success, happiness, daisys, and sugarplum fairies. Ok, maybe not the daisys and fairies, but I remember it as a pretty rosy outlook – especially when compared to my bittersweet raincloud of success.

Ain’t divination grand?

Our other tests were less notable, mostly because we weren’t quite sure what to ask next or how we should ask it. The business and financial questions were (at the time) the most pressing on our minds so we found little motivation to explore other areas.

Now that I know more about it, and my situation is changing, I’ll be experimenting more very soon.

When you get right down to it, all subjects of personal human interest boil down to 3 things: Money/Career (e.g. what you “do” in life and how well you do it), Health (how you feel), and Relationships (who you align yourself with and who you make enemies with). So any question you ask of the I Ching will probably have to do with one of those in some capacity.

As with most subjects, the I Ching can get more complex than what I’ve described here. It’s possible for the changes to be graphed and overlayed across a timeline of world history. When you do this, the I Ching has predicted many major world events, and even calls into play the infamous 2012 Mayan Calendar date many suppose to either be the end of an era (and beginning of a new one) in human history, the shifting of Earth’s magnetic poles, or… total doomsday and the end of life as we know it.

Maybe a combination of all three.

No one’s really sure about that one yet – though I have some ideas from my own research.

As for the I Ching itself… with the limited experiments Jason and I have done together, we can certainly say the whole subject warrants further exploration.

Go ahead, try it out with questions about your own life and let me know how it goes.

Here are some good resources to help:

YouTube video on The I Ching and the Mayan Calendar

Unhelpful, poorly done Wikipedia article on The I Ching (good for looking up the hexagrams though)

I Ching Hexagram Readings (in case you’d rather not buy the book… and I don’t blame you if you don’t)

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While there are 12 major signs of the zodiac, creating twelve general base personality types, there are a TON of small tweaks and modifications to that base to create a whole, well-rounded, real-life person.

Basically, it goes like this:

Level 1 (the most simple, base level) – Your sun sign. In my case, Cancer, because I was born on July 21st – and anybody else born from approx June 22 to July 22 is also a Cancer. If this was all there was to astrology, it would be a pretty simple, and admittedly somewhat laughable, system.

But it’s not. As you’ll soon see, there’s far more to astrology than meets the eye.

Level 2 – Your ascendant (or “rising”) sign. This is the sign rising over the horizon at the exact time of your birth. It changes about every 2 hours or so – thus explaining why 2 people born on the exact same day can have different modifications to their base temperament… and why identical twins born minutes apart often lead strikingly similar lives, even when separated at birth. Likewise, it could also account for their differences, depending on how far apart they were born and what was happening with the rising sign at that moment. Where your sun sign is your inner personality – your “real” self – your rising sign has more to do with your outer world – how others perceive you, your outlook, and general disposition on a very surface level. Calculating this cannot be done very easily alone and usually requires the assistance of a good astrologer. However, you can estimate your rising sign here, though it may not be completely accurate. My rising sign is Aquarius.

Level 3 – The day you were born. Again, for me this was July 21st. We’ll take a closer look at this below, but for now just know that for each day within a zodiac time frame (in Cancer’s case, from about June 22 to July 22), slight modifications to the normal Cancer base are applied. And interestingly, I’ve found them to be extremely accurate across a wide variety of people I’ve tested. (And in case you’re thinking they’re the type of things that “can apply to anybody” – you’re wrong – these are very specific, as we will soon see.)

Level 4 – Your birthday’s numerological so-called “Root Number” – for me, this is the number three. I’ll show you what this means in a moment. The most widely used numerological systems were those pioneered by the Greek mathematicians, especially Pythagoras, who saw numbers as the basis of all art, science, music, and whatever. He and his followers also believed that by studying numbers, we could gain access to a sort of spiritual key unlocking the secrets of the divine.

If all this talk sounds like a lot of hooey to you, consider this: any math and philosophy buff will tell you these Greek guys really knew their shit. And when you get to a certain level of understanding about a particular subject, your interests always… ALWAYS… turn a tad bit mystical. If you’ve ever seen a really good theoretical physicist, you know precisely what I mean; the grunt work physics guys are too worried about cranking equations already done hundreds of thousands of times before, while the master physicists sound more akin to Voodoo Witch Doctors, hooping and hollaring about 11-dimensional string theory, Big-Bang-producing membranes of reality that bump into each other on a regular basis, and rips in the very fabric of space-time allowing inter-dimensional travel.

…So don’t get too cocky about your disbelief with this here. The fact is, we know very little about how the universe operates. And all testable facts need to be considered. Funny thing is that right now as I write this, astrology is even more testable (by far) than string theory in physics.

Anyway, here is how the Root Number works:

There are nine root numbers, and only one of them is associated with you and your birthday. The sum of any compound number, when reduced to a single digit, is its root number. The root number for your birthday is the day of the month on which you were born, reduced to a single digit. So if your birthday is on the 21st, like mine is, 2 + 1 = 3. If it was the 28th, then 2 + 8 = 10, and 1 + 0 = 1… so the root number for the 28th is simply 1.

These root number traits are then applied to each day of a particular month, which yields a separate, slightly modified personality from the base sun sign.

With these last two, I’m clumping them here at the end since I am not yet as knowledgeable about them as I need to be.

Level 5 – The year you were born. This falls in line with more of a Chinese tradition, but is still applicable in a very broad sense. Personally, I have not studied year modifications very much (yet) but they do exist and serve to further differentiate one July 21st birthday from the next.

Level 6 - The location (longitude and latitude) you were born.

Taking all of these things into account, it’s pretty easy to see the number of possibilities that exist here. Like I said before, a good astrologer can help you make more sense out of your chart than some website or dumb horoscope can.

Ok, so let’s start with my root number, which is three. Then we’ll move on to the exact date of July 21st and I’ll show you how that compliments my existing analysis of the Cancer sun sign, and ties in with my ascendant (rising) sign, Aquarius.

I drew these references from a number of sources and sort of synthesized them into one complete picture. Here is what was said, each followed by my comments:

Three is the number of self-expression, enthusiasm, optimism, and sociability. Threes are the friendly, the witty, the charmers of society. You are a born entertainer with a cheerful, easygoing manner and a gift for gab that endears you to all kinds of people.

There’s a little puff to this, but I’ve generally found it to be true. Except sometimes my desire for sociability conflicts with my Aquarius rising sign, canceling each other out or with one overpowering the other. It’s a fine line I have to walk all the time to maintain focus. But when I really want to be, I can make ‘em swoon. You just have to get me in the right mood to do it.

Three is also the number of good fortune. Some threes are so lucky they seem to be under the protection of a guardian angel. Even your difficulties usually have a weird way of working out for the best.

I’ve had a lot of people comment from time to time on this aspect of my life. It’s kindof strange, really… but I’m not going to argue with it. Actually I shouldn’t even be pointing it out here… I’ve often found its best to keep good fortune to myself, lest it come to an abrupt end shortly after telling. I’m a little superstitious like that. Too many good things in my life have went sour quickly after I told someone or (especially) boasted about them… and went wonderfully when I kept it all to myself. Have that happen with a few things YOU really care about and soon your lips would be sealed too!!

Despite your light-hearted approach to life, there is nothing superficial about your desire to succeed. Threes are inherantly ambitious and hard working. A genuine distaste for occupying subordinate positions fuels your climb to the top.

Yes! In most situations throughout my life, I have always been the leader and did not want to have much to do with anything where I was supposed to be subordinate. The few situations where that was not the case were very short lived. In a classroom setting, I was determined to hold the #1 spot or at the very least a respectable standing among rank and file. In a career/job/money setting, I’m not too happy unless I’m the “Golden Boy” who can do no wrong. The esteemed and respected. The guy who gets invited to fancy dinners and people’s houses on hearsay, myth, and rumor alone – because others have already vouched for him.

Threes are generally multi-talented and sometimes have difficulty choosing among various career options. Naturally artistic and creative, you have a knack of synthesizing and communicating your knowledge and ideas. Cleverness, versatility, and quick thinking make it easy for you to outwit the competition. However, a tendency to spread yourself too thin by scattering your energies in a number of different directions may hamper your success.

Oh yes. I have always had a terrible time choosing something on which to focus my laser-beam of concentration and expertise. This led to a “jack of all trades” mentality, still somewhat haunting me to this day, which is incredibly time-consuming and really gets nowhere in the long run. It’s good to have a wide body of knowledge, yes, but at a certain point, you have to CHOOSE something highly specific to focus on to accomplish the really big things. (Assuming “accomplishing something” is your goal, obviously. If you enjoy free-floating around from thing to thing, then so be it.)

In your personal life, you are devoted to friends and family. A generous, warm, and loving person, you enjoy interacting with people in social gatherings and intimate one-on-one situations.

I’ll admit this is fairly vague and kindof a small recap of what was said at the beginning, but still true nonetheless.

Well, that does it for my root number. Now here’s what it says for the exact day, July 21:

People born on this day have a way with words that make them fine writers, debaters, politicians, and salespersons.

I am a writer and a salesman; in short, that’s what a copywriter is. When I was little, I’d stand in certain sections of the store while mom did her shopping, and try to sell one of the nearby items to passersby. I remember that I often at least interested them, and sometimes even made a “sale” or two before mom came back from getting our groceries.

Although you’re an innovative thinker, you often feel caught between the innate originality of the root number 3′s vibration and the conventionality of your Cancer sun sign. You can cloak your insecurities in bravado, but they’ll continue to thrive just beneath the surface of your consciousness. Half the time, you’re the sensitive, imaginative, intuitive person who understands the world through feelings and emotions. During the other half, you are a cerebral, rational being living in a mental atmosphere of words and ideas. When one side or the other gains the upper hand, you can experience feelings of distraction, anxiety, uncertainty, and may even get eccentric at times.

This is a fine description of my personal tug-of-war between my desires to be creative (create 3d animated shows, short films, movies, and the occasional still image) and my love of science, philosophy, and exploring the strange and unknown. Sometimes the creative side takes over and I become weird in an “arty” sort of way. Other times the logic side hijacks control and I lock myself up in some room, working on mathematical relationships between sun spots, gravity, the I Ching, and the stock market. (Notably, it’s also around this time that I begin to see 11′s every time I turn to a clock… but I’ll talk about that in another post sometime.)

Your strengths lie in creative self-expression and ease of communication. You enjoy talking about your ideas and your feelings, and you encourage others to share theirs.

Yes, and I get very frustrated when people hide their real thoughts and feelings. I hate dealing with people on an artificial level and am sometimes perceived as unorthodox in how I usually say exactly what I mean.

You posess excellent money-making ability and know the worth of most goods and services. Whether in business, the professions, or the arts, you know what people will buy and how much they are willing to pay.

I’ve been pretty good with price points, and so far (knock on wood), I’ve done a decent job at keeping myself out of the traditional workforce by working at home on my own projects. In most cases, I actually loathe many things “traditional” and the United States job environment certainly takes the cake. I’ve never been much one for doing another man’s bidding.

In an intimate relationship, you make a loving partner. Perceptive and caring, you want the very best for your loved one. Nevertheless, you are unwilling to forgo companionship in favor of romance. Without a meeting of the minds, you may get bored and lose interest.

Yes, I’ve become bored with many girls in the past. Some people say the Cancer man wants what he can’t have. I’m not sure if that’s true or not, but I know there has to be something awesomely special about a girl before I’ll commit too many resources to her. The upside to this is it creates high quality, low-drama relationships. The BAD part is it considerably shrinks the pool of suitable women, thus making the recovery time between relationships unusually long… and if you ask me, often frustrating. As a result, some people have called me out, declaring me “too picky” or a guy with “too high standards” that can not be met by ordinary girls. Well, if my crime is wanting only the best in life… then I am surely guilty. Ordinary people can have the ordinary girls, for all I care

Now for my ascendant (rising) sign, which is Aquarius. This is especially interesting because my friend Jason’s SUN (main) sign is Aquarius. Here is what is said about Aquarius Rising:

Aquarius Rising gives you a detached, intellectual outlook, combined with considerable mental poise. You stay cool under pressure and take sudden shocks or unexpected changes in your stride.

Keep in mind that the rising sign has more to do with general disposition and outward perceptions than it does “inner nature” temperament like the sun sign. If this “detached, intellectual outlook” sounds like it conflicts with my Cancer creativity and sociability, that’s because IT DOES. I struggle with that almost on a daily basis. Speaking of staying cool under pressure, one time I remember driving down a very icy road with my friend Andrew, who is also known for his composure. The tires slipped on a turn and all of a sudden we were literally sliding down a hill sideways, which eventually became a full 360 degree spin. After awhile, miraculously the car spun back into place where it could be driven out safely which is exactly what we did. Throughout this whole time, Andrew and I had stone cold emotionless expressions, stared straight forward out the windshield and never uttered a word. After the car leveled out and we continued to drive, we looked over at one another and burst into laughter… which is the part that made is so memorable for me. There are several other stories I could tell about remaining calm in distress (like the time a gas pump blew up, erupting into a pillar of flame 8 feet away from my car…) but I’ll save those for another time.

An interest, not to say a fascination with the bizarre and unusual can lead you down some rather interesting pathways.

I have always been interested in the mysterious, strange and unknown areas of human experience. My friend Jason is too… but since I am Cancer with Aquarius Rising, and he is pure Aquarius, we go about it different ways. For me, science and discovery is about the sense of adventure and knowing forbidden fruit. For Jason, it’s more about finding an inherant truth to systems and existance. Same interest, different reasons.

Status, power, and wealth are of marginal value, for you are interested in people for their own sake, not the social trappings which accompany them. Friendships are easily made and not so easily broken, for your air of easygoing familiarity and pleasant demeanour is rather attractive.

Once the ties are secured, I am very loyal to friends. I am seldom impressed by status, power, and wealth and like to see straight through to the real person. A few months ago, I remember riding in this guy’s new Maserati. All the other guys around me were oogling the car and making jokes about excuses to take it out for a spin; maybe impress some girls or something. But I remember not being impressed and feeling quite odd about it. Sure, it was a fine car, but… when I heard about how it broke down on the way back from the east coast to Missouri… and how much time, hassle, and money it took just to find a shop who had the ability to get the parts and knowledge to repair it… and how my car has never failed me, and is an excellent-looking car to boot… it helped put everything into perspective. Reminds me of the tortoise and the hare or something like that

Ruled by Uranus (lord of reversals and unexpected upheavals) and Saturn, lord of karma (purification and restriction), your personality can be changeable, yet deeply focused and quite original in approach. Most likely your life will undergo one or more dramatic changes of direction, often through some twist of fate or circumstances over which you have no control. Changes can occur suddenly and unexpectedly, for though Saturn’s influence implies a calm and stable disposition, Uranus often reacts in quite unexpected ways.

There’s not a whole lot I can say about this part right now. Ask me again in 70 years.

Unpredictable and independent, you can be argumentative and love to play devil’s advocate. You need your personal freedom, so when you marry or form partnerships you should choose your partners with care, since you are quite unable to put up with possessiveness and over-dependence. You enjoy physical and mental stimulation and whilst you are keenly interested in the future and are fascinated by the past (especially the offbeat, little-known areas), you somehow lose track of what’s going on in the present. Ahead of your time, others may perceive you as out of step with the rest of society.

I’m all about personal freedom and doing whatever I want in this short time we’re on this planet together. I’m afraid of being “tied down” to something and feeling “trapped.” And it’s also true that I have problems with living in the present moment… but I’ve been working on that lately, trying to stay focused on whatever is happening around me in the here and now. It’s working, and things are better. As for being “out of step” with society, it’s true that I’ve never done anything the “conventional way” – but I do not go out of my way to be different… it’s just how things usually happen for me.

Your strong physique and reserves of stamina, combined with your notorious stubbornness makes it difficult to break undesirable habits and behaviour patterns. Your independence is legendary and, of course, you do tend to be somewhat opinionated, especially in matters that have stimulated your interest in the offbeat. Others stand little chance of changing your ideas, for you must become convinced on your own account that such changes are necessary.

More of the same, as above. Though I’m not nearly as stubborn as I used to be. I’m a LOT more free-thinking than in times past, less likely to be held to outdated ideas when new ones present themselves.

You probably like science, sociology, music and design, while your pursuit of hidden things and unusual research can lead you to an interest in astrology and other arcane matters. You are good with money, which tends to come your way unexpectedly, yet appropriately to your lifestyle.

Yes, and yes. Not a whole lot I can add to that.

You may have noticed how Aquarius compliments a lot of my Cancer attributes but conflicts with the creative and more “free-wheelin’” aspects… and I can tell you, that’s presicely what happens in my real life. It’s the reason my friend Jason and I are such good friends, despite being at odds sun-sign-wise, and the reason why we conflict on certain points of purpose, direction, and morality. It’s fun. It makes us interesting and most importantly… human!

Random Facts About July 21

July 21st marks the Mayan New Year, which is still celebrated in parts of Mexico and Central America. Indigenous people welcome the sacred day with special feasts and prayers in honor of the old gods. The day also honors the Greek seer Damo, daughter of the sage and philosopher Pythagoras, who entrusted all of his secrets to her.

Ernest Hemingway was born on July 21 as well. Just thought that was interesting. I like Hemingway

As I’ve shown here, there’s a lot more to astrology than first meets the eye. And I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again, IGNORE THOSE STUPID HOROSCOPES YOU FIND IN NEWSPAPERS, MAGAZINES, AND TABLOIDS… they’re not done by real astrologers and are 99.9% of the time a complete waste of time – certainly nothing to base your opinions of astrology on, by any stretch of the imagination.

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I’ve always been one to tinker with things a bit before gradual acceptance or outright dismissal.

And astrology has always been one of those subjects that fascinated me. Now before you go jumping to any conclusions here, the kind of astrology I’m talking about is REAL astrology… with numbers, formulas, calculations, and charts… not that stupid commercialized crap you find in newspaper horoscopes and in the back of Cosmo.

Yes, there’s a difference. A big difference.

Most people don’t even know the “real” brand of astrology exists. The limitations of their criticisms go something like this:

“Horoscopes are silly. Any one of those descriptions could fit pretty much anyone. Cancer, Leo, Aquarius, Aries, it doesn’t matter – They’re all too vague to be useful.”

or…

“How can you describe the behaviors of everyone who’s ever been born with only 12 personality types? There are certainly more types of people out there than twelve.”

or maybe…

“I don’t believe in astrology. There’s just no way any of that could be true. I believe we’re fully in control of our destinys.”

or even…

“Since the 12 signs system was originally created thousands of years ago, the Earth’s orbit has gradually changed by about 30 degrees, thus rendering all calculations based on the old system off by an entire sign.”

All common arguments, all equally ridiculous – except perhaps for the last one.

First of all, astrology is not like a God – something to be “believed in” as if it were some kind of ethereal mist. No. Instead it it based on exact measurements of observable celestial bodies. Very reproducible and very testable. The only caveat of this is the demonstrability depends largely on the knowledge and skills of the one doing the test. Meaning, you can’t expect to just come out of a 2 hour class and start throwing this stuff around by the end of the day. Just like anything else worth knowing, it takes months, years of study to get really good.

Second, just because there are 12 astrological signs does not mean there are only twelve personality types. It only means there are 12 sun signs – twelve divisions of the sky, together forming a 360 degree 3d view. In addition to the 12 sun signs, which are based on an approximate 30 day span in which you were born, there are 2 other factors in astrology that most people are not aware of: the location (longitude and latitude) and time (hour and minute) you were born. These 2 factors act as “modifiers” to your base sun sign. So if you’re a Cancer (like me), it is not enough to just leave it at that; Cancer traits will describe my base default personality – my temperament – but will not suffice for many other things. You need ALL the data in order to form a complete picture of yourself that makes sense and actually works.

Third, anyone who says the personality descriptions are too vague to be useful and could apply to anyone is either: 1. Not looking at correct information, or 2. Basing their comments on those silly tabloid horoscope sections which were not created by real astrologers, but by writers trying to make their publication sell more copies by being interesting. In a moment, I’ll do a breakdown of Cancer traits, compare them with myself, and show just how accurate they really are.

But first, the issue about the Earth’s orbit gradually skewing off by 30 degrees over the last few thousand years, while true, does not affect astrology. This is because modern day astrologers (real ones, at least) take into account actual real-time sky data when calculating – information that can be found in almanacs and on the internet in NASA databases. One astrologer I went to here in St. Louis had 6 books out on the desk simultaneously, busily thumbing through all of them and making comparisons as I fed him my data. This man was no “guesser” nor was he a mystic.

Ok, so anyway, I used the excellent, though shoddily designed website Astrology-Online to read about the traits of a Cancer, and below I will go almost line-by-line quoting you what is said, then following it with a comment from my personal life.

The Cancerian character is the least clear-cut of all those associated with the signs of the zodiac.

Hmm, just as a fun note, this may explain why I’ve historically had such a difficult time finding a place in the world that seemed most natural to me. Anyway, moving on…

It is a fundamentally conservative and home-loving nature, appreciating the nest like quality of a secure base to which the male can retire when he needs a respite from the stresses of life, and in which the Cancerian woman can exercise her strong maternal instincts. The latter tends to like and to have a large family.

A person could argue here and say “Yeah but everybody likes to have a nice place to relax at the end of the day and get away from it all. That’s just common sense.” However, this comment fails to realize just how strongly attached a Cancer is to his place over a “normal” person. It’s not just a box with 4 walls to spend time in when not outside, it’s a WAY OF LIFE and more importantly, a SENSE OF IDENTITY. A Cancer will take a stronger interest in making his abode “perfectly match” how he views himself (or wants to view himself) down to every detail he wears and every piece of furniture he buys. No detail is left unexamined. No thought not considered. While it’s NOT true I desire a large family (or at the time of this writing, I do not desire ANY family), I am also male and it mentions this is a characteristic of the Cancer females only.

“Nest like” is an appropriate adjective for the Cancerian home, for its inhabitants tend to favor the dark, mysterious but comfortable type of house which has something of the air of a den about it, a place which belongs to the family rather than existing as a showcase to impress visitors.

Here is a photo of a room in my place… need I say more?

That is not to say that the Cancerian is unsociable, just that for them there is a time to socialize and a time to be solitary, and this is part of the apparent contradiction in their nature.

If not dealt with actively, this tendency can lead to sociopathic behavior. I’ve met other Cancers who were the same way. Think of them as a kind of loner who occasionally comes down off his perch to mingle with the natively social folk. This is out of genuine interest, not an attempt to appear “normal.”

Outwardly they can appear formidable – thick-skinned, unemotional, uncompromising, obstinately tenacious, purposeful, energetic, shrewd, intuitive and wise, sometimes with a philosophical profundity of thought verging on inspiration. Their intimates, however, may see a very different character, one with a sympathetic and kindly sensitivity to other people, especially those they love.

It this were a movie, it’d almost be cliche… but to a Cancer it is the living truth. Think of it like a Clint Eastwood “new stranger in town, lone man with no name” – calm, cool, tough – yet secretly goes home at night, reminisces about the past and philosophizes about the future… over Vivaldi and hot pasta – sometimes with a tear.

They are able to identify with the situations of others because of the keenness of their imaginations.

This is true, but can be a two-edged sword. More on this later.

They are often over-imaginative and prone to fantasy, sometimes trying to shape their lives to fit some romantic ideal.

This is more true than most people closest to Cancers realize. Spaghetti Westerns, James Bond, trenchcoated 1940′s private-eyes, and the like all play a vital role in helping the Cancer articulate what it is he wants out of life. Why? Because more than anything he wants to live a romanticized ideal. He’ll buy anything, do anything that will move him closer to real life “riding off into the sunset in search of the next adventure” or “games, girls, and guns” romanticism. He wants his life to read like a novel and feels he’ll be a worthless insignificant speck if he doesn’t succeed within a reasonable time frame. This is serious business here, folks – real life-or-death stuff. Don’t take it for granted.

They are appreciative of art and literature, and especially of drama, where the spectacle and ebb and flow of action and feeling particularly excite them. They may themselves possess considerable literary, artistic or oratorical talent. Their sharp ears and talent for mimicry can sometimes give them success on the stage, though their tendency to be emotional may make them overact.

This only serves to reinforce the romantic ideal. Cancers are good writers, actors, and can move crowds with speeches. They have a certain way with words; a grasp over the more subtle elements of language. This is because despite the cold outward appearance, they are in fact very attune to emotions, especially the base instincts coming from the “reptilian brain” section of the mind. I can relate to other people very easily through imagination and visualization, guess what they are feeling, and then write about it as if I actually felt it myself. This helps in sales situations or any other time when persuasion is required.

Interestingly – because they give the impression of being down-to-earth – they are often fascinated by the occult and are more open to psychic influence than the average.

In my opinion, the “down to earth” thing is merely a shield – a social mask – covering the true feelings underneath. I’ve been fascinated with the occult and psychic stuff for years – ever since I was a little boy playing in my grandma’s living room. Even back then I wanted the ability to make myself invisible and cast spells on people and affect their lives… sometimes for their benefit, sometimes to harm them. Interesting side note: I always have, even to this day, liked myself to be a “dealer of justice” – a sort of vigilante of the universe.

If they can reconcile the personal conflict of their urge to be outgoing with the reserve that causes them to withdraw into themselves, then at best they can inspire a generation, especially the youthful part of it, by their idealism. A job in which they can express this, and in which they can do well, would be as a leader in a youth organization.

They’re not kidding here; it is a very harsh conflict to be reconciled – often teetering on the verge of sociopathic behavior, but never quite making it over the edge in any real sense. Interesting though how they mention leader in a youth organization; there was once a small part of me who wanted to command and inspire an army of little people. But this conflicts with my current view that children are essentially spoilers of my romantic idealism - e.g. it just wouldn’t be the same movie if James Bond had a toddler in tow. Therefore, at the present time, I simply don’t see how they fit into the world I want to create. This disappoints a lot of girls, but I see no real solution around it. At least not right now.

In their personal relationships they are mentally a mixture of toughness and softness, often emotional and romantic to the point of sentimentality in their fantasies; but in real life and in marriage, their loving is not so sentimental but tenaciously loyal. Even if they have affairs (and they may do so, for the male in particular is open to sensual stimulation), their first loyalty remains to spouse and family, of whom they regard themselves as the protector.

Loyalty and trueness to my word are, for some reason, very important to me. There may be some issues in the world certain types of people would view my stance as “unethical” on… but one thing they can never argue against is my sense of loyalty – and if I say I’m going to do something, there must be a catastrophic event (physically or emotionally) for me not to have done it. Their comment on loyalty in affairs is interesting, because I might be inclined to view an affair as something “extra” merely to satisfy some desire completely unrelated to the goals of the “family team”… this making it somewhat acceptable… UNLESS, of course, I specifically made a pact – a promise – not to do ever do it. Paradoxically, however, I might view a similar transgression against me more personally and therefore feel inclined to some brand of vengeance. Call it a double-standard if you will, but it’s the truth.

Both the Cancerian man and woman love unreservedly, giving much and asking little in return – in fact, one of the most important lessons they have to learn is how to receive gracefully. They are too easily influenced by those they love and admire, and swayed by the emotion of the moment. They are also loyal friends, the negative side of their faithfulness being clannishness, the narrow patriotism of “my country right or wrong”; and closing ranks in suspicion and coldness toward outsiders.

Yes, I’ve always had a difficult time accepting compliments gracefully. I like and enjoy them just as much as the next guy, but there is a sense of “don’t say that, you’ll jinx it” that goes along with them – feels like a spoonful of bitter sugar. And yes, it is quite easy for a Cancer to get “caught up in the emotion of the moment” – which makes certain sales pitches and emotionally charged situations things to watch out for. And while I am not particularly loyal to ANY country or ANY political party (I’d always rather be in control of my own than join some other guy’s thing), there is a definite sense of clannishness that’s followed me around over the years. I’ve always wanted to form little clan-like groups of people under my control – which is what probably attracts me to business and, more remotely, an “evil genius” sort of underworld-empire-fantasy.

Cancerians have a retentive memory, particularly for emotionally laden events which they can recall in detail for years afterwards. they are strongly governed by childhood memories and since they live intensely in the past in memory and in the future in imagination, a chance meeting with someone for whom they had an unrequited love, even if they thought they had conquered the feeling, will easily rouse the emotion all over again.

Fond memories stick around in vivid detail… but so do past wrongs. I can carry around a hidden grudge for an amazing length of time. However, it’s also true that time erases pretty much everything, so give it long enough and it’ll probably go away. I’m not sure if anyone could wrong me so seriously that I’d dedicate the rest of my life and every waking moment to ruining theirs, but who knows? I’m not gonna say it couldn’t happen. To say that would presuppose I know everything about my temperament… which I do not. Now you might say “yeah but Greg it’d be your personal and conscious CHOICE if you did something like that” – and I’d tend to agree with that. Yes, it would be my choice, my temperament merely providing the jet-fuel. And that is something very important to understand about all of this and astrology in general: astrology only says what is LIKELY to happen or how you are LIKELY to behave… it does not dictate events in solid stone. Just like in quantum physics, it is a set of probabilities.

The Cancerian has many potential faults. They can be untidy, sulky, devious, moody, inclined to self-pity because of an inferiority complex, brood on insults (very often imagined), yet are easily flattered.

I’m the opposite of untidy, however sloppiness (as long as it is not on any of “my” things or in “my” home) does not bother me in the least. In fact, sometimes I feel more comfortable in the messy environments of others than I do in my own perfectly sterile ones. But that’s a lot less true today than it was several years ago. Seems to be fading, as my own restrictions on myself have been loosening. Moody? Inferiority complex? Yep, and yep. I used to think I was not moody at all, until I started to really pay close attention to my feelings… then I could see it all quite clearly. I have a swing of “up” days, weeks, months… and “down” days, weeks, and months. Sometimes extreme. My mom always said I had a difficult time finding the “happy medium” in most circumstances, instead always opting for some kind of wild swing in a particular direction. Like going from super clean, weashing hands many times per day and taking 2 showers per day… to letting myself go for several days without a shower, bath, or sometimes even forgetting to brush my teeth; things that would’ve been unheard of only months before. These days, I am a lot more balanced, but still carry with me some of that old “swing” behavior, though on smaller scales. Also, it is true what they said; I can brood on insults (often figments of my imagination) for days, and can even recall them months, sometimes years later, if the memory is triggered somehow. And yes, I am easily flattered and always welcome it – though I will most certainly play it down when given.

They can be tactless and difficult yet, because they are normally ambitious, they will curry favor by floating with majority opinions, outlooks and fashions of the day. As a result they often change their opinions and loyalties and, indeed, their occupations, and lack stability.

I think this “lacking stability” comes from having a hard time finding a place in the world that both makes sense and is admirable, fitting into the romantic ideal spoke of earlier. Yes, ambition certainly plays a central role. I’ll do anything if I know (and I mean really BELIEVE) it will move me closer to that ideal.

They are easily corrupted and, because they are convincing romanticizers, can make successful confidence tricksters. Their romanticism in another sense make them ardent supporters of causes, for example a football team with whose heroes they can identify in a world of fantasy.

Ah, here it is at last; all the mimicry, and attention to emotional detail, while being more easily brought over to the “dark side” than others, makes for excellent con man career potential. Now isn’t that just wonderful? Well, it’s true… I can vouch for it all. And this issue of supporting causes is important too, though at the time of this writing I can’t say I’ve ever found a cause I’m willing to throw everything into, other than the cause of Me, Myself, and I. But that’s not to say I wouldn’t WANT to find such a cause. Sure I would. That’d be great. I’d probably want to be in charge of it though.

Their abilities fit the Cancerian for a wide range of occupations. As they are interested in what people are thinking and able to judge what they can safely be told, they can be good journalists, writers or politicians, though in this last capacity they are more likely to remain in the background rather than attain prominent positions of power. They may, indeed, change their party affiliations. They can serve in other departments of public affairs, especially those which involve looking after others, for example in any kind of service from welfare and nursing to catering – their own love of comfort and good living makes the Cancerian an excellent chef or housekeeper. They sometimes have a penchant for trade or business and are often successful as a captain of industry. This is because they are excellent organizers with a good sense of value and economy which they may combine with a flair for inventiveness and originality.

This last one here, this “captain of industry” is where ol’ Greg’s interests lie. I want to be the leader, the top man, the “go to guy.” I’ve always been interested in business and its seemingly unlimited potential. This combined with being a writer all my life is why I publish and sell books right now as my main income source. Isn’t it strange how all the little Cancer pieces come together? As for the politics, my name “Gregory” literally means “The Watchman”… and I can see myself behind the scenes rather than out front as they say, at least with respects to politics. I don’t think I could ever play their stupid games of pander; the only political environment I could see myself having a prominent position in is a sort of “No B.S.” Hitler-style Fascism. That way there would be no systems of pandering… no silly social games to play… and a guy could just step in there and get done what needed to get done without hassle.

The romantic side of their natures make them enjoy grubbing about in places where exciting discoveries may be made (old stamp collections in attics, etc.), and if they can do this professionally as a secondhand dealer or specialist in antiques, they will be happy. More common occupations which suit some subjects of Cancer are real estate broker, gardener and sailor.

Yes! Exciting discoveries! One of the things I love. Which is why I love exploring and love science. This is interesting because I was talking to my friend Jason Summers (an Aquarius) the other day about our mutual interest in science; his comes from a desire to find universal truths and purpose, while mine stem from a desire to explore, break new ground, and make new discoveries. It’s more about excitement and thrill and possessing secret esoteric information than anything else - information that may someday be used to construct my top-secret doomsday super-weapon, thus bringing the world (or at least a significant chunk of it) to its knees. All for no other purpose than the thrill, the romanticism of it all. Madness? No. Just a boy playing “cops and robbers” on a grand scale… and doesn’t care if he wins or loses; only that he has fun and makes an impact.

Physically they are average to below average in height, with a fleshy body and short legs in comparison with the rest of them. Their hair is usually brown, their faces round, their complexions pale, their foreheads prominent, their eyes small and blue or gray in color, their noses short, perhaps upturned, and their mouths full. They sometimes walk clumsily.

I do sometimes step clumsily. I do have a longer torso, making my legs appear a degree shorter than they would. I believe I am average height (is 6 feet, 1 inch tall average?)…I have blonde hair that has turned brownish-blonde over the years. Prominent forehead that I usually cover with my choice of haircut (the haircut is vitally important; it’s the thing that keeps the face within ideal Fibonacci proportions)… blue eyes, short nose, slightly upturned. Nice mouth. Yep, I’d say that fits me close enough.

Ok, so there you have it. I’ve just ran through everything they say a “Cancer” is supposed to be, and guess what? 95 to 98% of it matches me, minus a few small details. And you know what else? If I go on there and check out the OTHER astrological signs… none of them describe me; they each describe a different base temperament of a different person. They’re there for a reason.

Go read yours. You may discover things about yourself or ways of describing yourself that you never considered before. The best site I’ve found to read the sign descriptions is Astrology-Online.com – they’re not very good at the matches between signs, but they are excellent at the individual sign traits.

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You might remember something very similar to this among people who swear there can be heard demonic messages in many music recordings when their records are played backwards on a turntable. Combining this with the idea that it may be communications from the subconscious, you could easily arrive at the hypothesis that the artists had less than honorable thoughts and intentions while publishing the particular music.

After listening to the many examples presented on ReverseSpeech.com, as well as some heavy study, thought, and personal experimentation, here is my report on the phenomenon.

Reverse speech is a hypothesis first put forward by David John Oates. It was widely publicized on the radio show of Art Bell. Oates’ claim is that every time humans speak they convey two related sentences, only one of which we can hear naturally. The second message is embedded backwards into the person’s speech. This means that if a person’s statement was recorded and played backwards, the speaker’s unconscious thoughts could be heard. The most famous recording that allegedly demonstrates this is the speech given by Neil Armstrong at the time of the moon landing, in which, if played backwards, the words “man will spacewalk” can supposedly be clearly heard.

However it has been argued that without prompting no one would hear this phrase, and only once we had been told what to listen for would we hear it. My personal tests, however, seem to render this argument inadequate.

The presence of negatively influencing, even neo-satanism-themed reverse speech has been argued to be present in heavy metal music by some conservative groups, claiming that this music made or can make their children perform antisocial acts.

The ReverseSpeech.com website provided many compelling examples, and also sells a sound analysis program for $60 which can be tried for free for 7 days. A similar program, though much more expensive, is SoundForge, which can do the things ReverseSpeech can and a lot more (it’s for studio professionals). Also, for the extreme cheapskate, there is the Sound Recorder program that comes with Windows, which can record and play back sounds (backwards too), though functionality is limited to just that. All things considered, the ReverseSpeech program is worth trying for 7 days and if you really get into this, probably the best solution you could purchase.

Throughout many tests, my friend Jason and I were able to get at least one (oftentimes several) pieces of good reverse speech per recording session. We heard things like “we’re worried”, “overweight”, “I wanna win”, “wuss”, “not my fault”, and a very omnious “throw us into the fire.” Conversely, and much less omnious, was the humorous “Sherriff Louie, that’s me, sah” quote from Jason.

This was undoubtedly interesting, so Jason and I decided to test things other than ourselves. Among these were: the audio from a taping of the Daily Show with Jon Stewart (10 minutes), a speech from President FDR (30 minutes), and a CD from marketing expert Dan Kennedy (45 minutes). All were at least 99% speech in their content.

The tests proved interesting and worthwhile, even though almost no reverse speech was found in all those piles of audio. Why? Because the ONLY reverse speech discovered was during pieces of audio that were known to be unscripted. This discovery lends some credibility to the reverse speech case, possibly demonstrating that subconscious messages are only present when one is “speaking from the gut”, unrehearsed and unscripted.

On a counterpoint, another interesting thing to note is the discovery that the phrase “I don’t know” or even “I do not know” tends to sound almost the same when played backward as forward. This would lead us to believe there are at least several other words or phrases that would do the same, thus saying that no matter what you are “really” thinking on the subconscious level, you would be able to say these phrases with alterior meaning and still fool a Reverse Speech listener into thinking you really mean what you say.

We also performed straight tests on works which were primarily music. An interesting thing happened that we guessed might happen but deep down didn’t really believe would actually occur; classically “beautiful” and universally accepted “good” music seems to sound good even when played backward, while “normal” or “fad-based” music that is not so universally revered and timeless seems to play horribly.

While I conclude that this phenomenon is worth looking into further to do more testing, I will personally shy away into being a mere casual observer, at least for the time being for the following reasons -

Probability: While there is decent evidence both for and against the valitidy of the claim, there still exists the issue of the whole thing being a result of a pure probability game. In other words, if you listen to something like this, every once in awhile there is a chance you will discover a very clear thing in English language. Everything else around it is either pure gibberish or sounds very much like some foreign language (see “things to try and/or consider” below).

Time and Importance: There are many lifetimes of good material out there that need to be looked into by an unbiased person, this being one of them. However, I find it more profitable for myself and the future benefit of others if I personally (at least temporarily) file this away in my mind as a possbility for use at a later date. Listening to mounds upon mounds of audio for clues as to hidden messages are details that are better left to the ones more dedicated to the pursuit of the field. Their findings will then need to be tested by people like you and me.

Things to try and/or consider:

Entertaining the idea—

• It could be that all audio, when played backwards, can produce clear, audible speech, it’s just that there could be a running frequency pattern that needs to be “decoded” if you will. In other words, as you traverse through the audio, the frequency and amplitude of output that our ears can hear needs to be continually modified in order to get the full message. The reason why we hear the audible speech only sometimes and the rest gibberish, could be because every once in awhile, those frequency patterns cross over into our normal range of listening, and we hear the speech…then they quickly leave us again.
• It could be that what appears to be a foreign language of reverse speech sometimes actually is a foreign language. Even possibly that of any number of “lost” languages throughout time. It would be interesting to play back Japanese, Russian, Chinese, and German backwards to see if an English word or phrase ever occurs. Possibly even combine this idea with the one presented above.
• More tests need to be done concerning scripted vs. unscripted audio. Jason and I seemed to be able to get reverse speech easily when we recorded ourselves, even for small amounts of time. But when even large quantities of scripted voice was played, it was much more difficult.

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