"Better than Cosmo! Others just recite facts, but I like your posts best because of the in-depth analysis."
"Great work! Your stuff is a sight for sore eyes in this wash of dumbed down crap for the masses I see all the time on the internet."
"Greg is a dapper gent, intelligent, and easy to hang with. He made me feel right at home in his film noir-esque lair. We talked at great length about books, influences (we both write), and on a broad range of topics that might cause one to raise an eye brow while pondering. He was great fun to roam the city with. I'm looking forward to another round of pursuing art exhibits and deep dialog over late night coffees the next time we cross paths."
"Greg! Thank you so much! I will not forget this! Your help will make it easier for me to secure a job when I get back home from Switzerland!"
"Dude I hate to write you about this again but those nutrition tips you sent me were a fucking godsend. Anyway, I do appreciate ya... you're a good egg."
"Dear Mr. Greg: You are creative and amusing... two things I find irresistible. If I didn't live so far away, I'd go after you myself! Thanks for all the laughs."
"Hey thanks for all the stuff on girls and relationships. I was up reading last night for like 3 hours. We had an earthquake not too long ago here in California, but man, some of the stuff you wrote shook me more than the quake!"
"I have to say, you provided several hours of entertainment for me just now. It is a great thing to know there are other people with similarly twisted senses of humor and intelligence. Thank you very much Greg Thompson, and good luck with the woman of your dreams. Should you ever feel the need to entertain me again, please feel free to do so, I'll take it any way I can get it."
"He may not have the following like many of the guru's out there, but I'd bet my bottom dollar that Greg is one of the best copywriters in America today."
"You're a very quotable man, Greg. I loved some of your bits of wisdom so much I posted them on my Facebook! It's easy to tell many of the things you say come from a place of true experience."
"Greg did work for our tour company for several years. What impresses us most about him is his ability to combine the technical know-how with the creative side of advertising to produce results faster. Instead of hiring a copywriter, artist, and web guy, we can get all of that and more in one savvy individual."
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The Scariest Phone Number In The World
July 24, 2010
Once upon a time in 1984, there was a young man in the northwest who loved to play with telephones.
One day he was exploring the 804 area code in Virginia and discovered the strangest thing. Every time he dialed up any number on the 840 exchange, he’d get a recording as if the exchange didn’t exist. However, if he dialed 804-840- and then 4 rather predictable numbers, a lonely ring sounded on the other end.
After a few seconds, somebody picked up.
Being the experienced phone enthusiast he was, he could tell the call didn’t “supervise”, meaning, no charges were being incurred for calling this number. He knew calls that get you an error message or some special operator generally don’t supervise.
A female voice, with a hint of Southern accent said, “Operator, can I help you?”
“Yes,” he said. “What number have I reached?”
“What number did you dial, sir?”
He made up a number that was similar.
“I’m sorry, that’s not the number you reached.” Click.
Fascinating. What in the hell was this? He knew he was going to call back, but before he did, some info-gathering experiments were in order. He tried the 840 exchange in several other area codes. In some, it came up as a valid exchange. In others, exactly the same thing happened – the same last four digits, the same Southern belle. Even stranger, the areas it worked in seemed to travel in a beeline from Washington, D.C. to Pittsburgh, PA.
He called back from a payphone. “Operator, can I help you?”
“Yes, this is the phone company. I’m testing this line and we don’t seem to have an identification on your circuit. What office is this, please?”
“What number are you trying to reach?”
“I’m not trying to reach any number. I’m trying to identify this circuit.”
“I’m sorry, I can’t help you.”
“Ma’am, if I don’t get an ID on this line, I’ll have to disconnect it. We show no record of it here.”
“Hold on a moment, sir.”
After about a minute, she came back. “Sir, I can have someone speak to you. Would you give me your number, please?”
He had anticipated this and he had the payphone number ready. After he gave it, she said, “Mr. XXX will get right back to you.”
“Thanks.” He hung up the phone. It rang. …Instantly! “Oh my God,” he thought, “they weren’t asking for my number – they were confirming it!”
“Hello,” he said, trying to sound authoritative.
“This is Mr. XXX. Did you just make an inquiry to my office concerning a phone number?”
“Yes. I need an identi—“
“What you need is advice.” The man almost spat the words, “Don’t ever call that number again. Don’t even think about calling that number again. Forget you ever knew it.”
At this point our friend got so nervous he just hang up. He expected the phone to ring back again… but it didn’t.
Over the next few days he racked his brains trying to figure out what this creepy number was. He knew it was something big – that was for certain. But what? It was so big, the number was programmed into every central office in the country. He knew this because if he tried to dial any other number in that exchange, he’d get a local error message from his central office, as if the exchange didn’t exist.
Finally, it came to him. He had an uncle who worked in a federal agency. He had a feeling that this was government related, and… if it was… his uncle could probably get to the bottom of it. He asked the next day and his uncle promosed to look into the matter.
The next time he saw his uncle, something was wrong. He was visibly trembling. “Where did you get that number?!” he shouted. “Do you know I almost got FIRED for asking about it?!? They kept wanting to know where I got it!”
Our friend couldn’t contain his excitement. “What is it?” he pleaded. “What’s the number?!”
“It’s the President’s bomb shelter!”
He never called the number again. He figured he could probably cause quite a stir by calling with a line like, “The weather’s not good in Washington. We’re coming over for a visit.” But our friend was smart. He knew there were some things that were better left unsaid… and undone.
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