If I had to write a newspaper personal, it would go something like this…

“Sexually Gifted Stallion Seeks Married Woman Wanting To Make Her Jealous Husband Buy A Bunch Of Expensive Stuff”

…then we’d run off together to a small Caribbean nation, and live it up James Bond style.

However, this is the Internet.

And you’re probably NOT married… or rich (damn.)

But you MIGHT be beautiful, intelligent, and from a good gene pool with no hereditary illnesses.

So I’ll just say this: there’s a fair enough chance you might be the girl of my dreams…

If…

…you do cute things when you think no one is looking

…you like a good glass of wine every now and then

…you’re smaller than me in a feminine sort of way (I’m 6′1, 167 pounds, athletic build and in excellent shape)

…you like staying in for the evening just as much as going out

…you can cook (but don’t make us fat or I’ll be forced to dump you using my caddish charm and make you love me for it)

…you do something for money that you’re damn good at

…you keep a clean apartment

…you keep your promises

…you love movies that make you think about life (Fight Club, Amelie, The Dreamers, almost anything French), classics, comedies, James Bond, and a little Japanese horror

…you think the great outdoors is a nice place to visit but you’d rather stay at the Four Seasons (I’ll be the dashing young fellow in the Ralph Lauren Purple Label – you be the flirtatiously mysterious woman in the little black dress. Pretentious? Yes. But we must – it’s our style.)

…underneath the classy exterior, there’s an alluring element of raw down n’ dirty in your approach to life

…foreign travel intrigues you (I’ve got contacts in Russia, China, Germany, and The Bahamas – let’s expand our network)

…you’ve either had your own business or worked in your parents business – you know what it’s like to fend for yourself

…you can go out all by yourself and still have a great time

…you prefer quiet, cozy spaces to noisy, crowded places

…you ever think you could get used to using the word “summer” as a verb

…you love a good documentary sometimes (not the stuffy boring ones, but the cool modern ones that challenge your beliefs)

…you don’t fear “The Unknown” – it intrigues you

…you know the difference between “you”, “your”, and “you’re”; “their”, “they’re”, and “there”… and never make a mistake

…you think Facebook and MySpace dilute the meaning of the word “friend”

…you’ve read at least 3 non-fiction books in the past year and have current, paid subscriptions to at least 2 magazines

…you’ve learned a new skill in the past year (what was it? and just as important… what’s next?)

…you know how it feels to work 12 hour days at something you’re passionate about

…you sometimes secretly hope all hell breaks loose in a disaster just to witness something truly exciting… but relief still washes over you when it doesn’t

…you’re never passive-aggressive – you confront people and deal with them directly

…money IS important to you and you’re not ashamed to admit it

…how good you look IS important to you and you’re not ashamed to admit it

…you realize everything in life really is temporary and there is no “forever”

…despite that, you’re determined to get the things you want in life no matter what, and never give up

P.S. If you’re still here, you’re truly a rare person. Which is good. But that doesn’t necessarily mean we’re a match. E-mail me and let’s find out!


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