Cancer Astrology Study part 2: July 21 - Mayan New Year
August 25, 2008
Awhile back, I wrote a fairly in-depth look at the psychology of a Cancer man because, well, I’m a Cancer myself and if you are too (or if you are considering dating one) it’s definitely a good idea to take a look at the things that will help you understand some of his (or her) finer points.
While there are 12 major signs of the zodiac, creating twelve general base personality types, there are a TON of small tweaks and modifications to that base to create a whole, well-rounded, real-life person.
Basically, it goes like this:
Level 1 (the most simple, base level) - Your sun sign. In my case, Cancer, because I was born on July 21st - and anybody else born from approx June 22 to July 22 is also a Cancer. If this was all there was to astrology, it would be a pretty simple, and admittedly somewhat laughable, system.
But it’s not. As you’ll soon see, there’s far more to astrology than meets the eye.
Level 2 - Your ascendant (or “rising”) sign. This is the sign rising over the horizon at the exact time of your birth. It changes about every 2 hours or so - thus explaining why 2 people born on the exact same day can have different modifications to their base temperament… and why identical twins born minutes apart often lead strikingly similar lives, even when separated at birth. Likewise, it could also account for their differences, depending on how far apart they were born and what was happening with the rising sign at that moment. Where your sun sign is your inner personality - your “real” self - your rising sign has more to do with your outer world - how others perceive you, your outlook, and general disposition on a very surface level. Calculating this cannot be done very easily alone and usually requires the assistance of a good astrologer. However, you can estimate your rising sign here, though it may not be completely accurate. My rising sign is Aquarius.
Level 3 - The day you were born. Again, for me this was July 21st. We’ll take a closer look at this below, but for now just know that for each day within a zodiac time frame (in Cancer’s case, from about June 22 to July 22), slight modifications to the normal Cancer base are applied. And interestingly, I’ve found them to be extremely accurate across a wide variety of people I’ve tested. (And in case you’re thinking they’re the type of things that “can apply to anybody” - you’re wrong - these are very specific, as we will soon see.)
Level 4 - Your birthday’s numerological so-called “Root Number” - for me, this is the number three. I’ll show you what this means in a moment. The most widely used numerological systems were those pioneered by the Greek mathematicians, especially Pythagoras, who saw numbers as the basis of all art, science, music, and whatever. He and his followers also believed that by studying numbers, we could gain access to a sort of spiritual key unlocking the secrets of the divine.
If all this talk sounds like a lot of hooey to you, consider this: any math and philosophy buff will tell you these Greek guys really knew their shit. And when you get to a certain level of understanding about a particular subject, your interests always… ALWAYS… turn a tad bit mystical. If you’ve ever seen a really good theoretical physicist, you know precisely what I mean; the grunt work physics guys are too worried about cranking equations already done hundreds of thousands of times before, while the master physicists sound more akin to Voodoo Witch Doctors, hooping and hollaring about 11-dimensional string theory, Big-Bang-producing membranes of reality that bump into each other on a regular basis, and rips in the very fabric of space-time allowing inter-dimensional travel.
…So don’t get too cocky about your disbelief with this here. The fact is, we know very little about how the universe operates. And all testable facts need to be considered. Funny thing is that right now as I write this, astrology is even more testable (by far) than string theory in physics.
Anyway, here is how the Root Number works:
There are nine root numbers, and only one of them is associated with you and your birthday. The sum of any compound number, when reduced to a single digit, is its root number. The root number for your birthday is the day of the month on which you were born, reduced to a single digit. So if your birthday is on the 21st, like mine is, 2 + 1 = 3. If it was the 28th, then 2 + 8 = 10, and 1 + 0 = 1… so the root number for the 28th is simply 1.
These root number traits are then applied to each day of a particular month, which yields a separate, slightly modified personality from the base sun sign.
With these last two, I’m clumping them here at the end since I am not yet as knowledgeable about them as I need to be.
Level 5 - The year you were born. This falls in line with more of a Chinese tradition, but is still applicable in a very broad sense. Personally, I have not studied year modifications very much (yet) but they do exist and serve to further differentiate one July 21st birthday from the next.
Level 6 - The location (longitude and latitude) you were born.
Taking all of these things into account, it’s pretty easy to see the number of possibilities that exist here. Like I said before, a good astrologer can help you make more sense out of your chart than some website or dumb horoscope can.
Ok, so let’s start with my root number, which is three. Then we’ll move on to the exact date of July 21st and I’ll show you how that compliments my existing analysis of the Cancer sun sign, and ties in with my ascendant (rising) sign, Aquarius.
I drew these references from a number of sources and sort of synthesized them into one complete picture. Here is what was said, each followed by my comments:
Three is the number of self-expression, enthusiasm, optimism, and sociability. Threes are the friendly, the witty, the charmers of society. You are a born entertainer with a cheerful, easygoing manner and a gift for gab that endears you to all kinds of people.
There’s a little puff to this, but I’ve generally found it to be true. Except sometimes my desire for sociability conflicts with my Aquarius rising sign, canceling each other out or with one overpowering the other. It’s a fine line I have to walk all the time to maintain focus. But when I really want to be, I can make ‘em swoon. You just have to get me in the right mood to do it.
Three is also the number of good fortune. Some threes are so lucky they seem to be under the protection of a guardian angel. Even your difficulties usually have a weird way of working out for the best.
I’ve had a lot of people comment from time to time on this aspect of my life. It’s kindof strange, really… but I’m not going to argue with it. Actually I shouldn’t even be pointing it out here… I’ve often found its best to keep good fortune to myself, lest it come to an abrupt end shortly after telling. I’m a little superstitious like that. Too many good things in my life have went sour quickly after I told someone or (especially) boasted about them… and went wonderfully when I kept it all to myself. Have that happen with a few things YOU really care about and soon your lips would be sealed too!! 
Despite your light-hearted approach to life, there is nothing superficial about your desire to succeed. Threes are inherantly ambitious and hard working. A genuine distaste for occupying subordinate positions fuels your climb to the top.
Yes! In most situations throughout my life, I have always been the leader and did not want to have much to do with anything where I was supposed to be subordinate. The few situations where that was not the case were very short lived. In a classroom setting, I was determined to hold the #1 spot or at the very least a respectable standing among rank and file. In a career/job/money setting, I’m not too happy unless I’m the “Golden Boy” who can do no wrong. The esteemed and respected. The guy who gets invited to fancy dinners and people’s houses on hearsay, myth, and rumor alone - because others have already vouched for him.
Threes are generally multi-talented and sometimes have difficulty choosing among various career options. Naturally artistic and creative, you have a knack of synthesizing and communicating your knowledge and ideas. Cleverness, versatility, and quick thinking make it easy for you to outwit the competition. However, a tendency to spread yourself too thin by scattering your energies in a number of different directions may hamper your success.
Oh yes. I have always had a terrible time choosing something on which to focus my laser-beam of concentration and expertise. This led to a “jack of all trades” mentality, still somewhat haunting me to this day, which is incredibly time-consuming and really gets nowhere in the long run. It’s good to have a wide body of knowledge, yes, but at a certain point, you have to CHOOSE something highly specific to focus on to accomplish the really big things. (Assuming “accomplishing something” is your goal, obviously. If you enjoy free-floating around from thing to thing, then so be it.)
In your personal life, you are devoted to friends and family. A generous, warm, and loving person, you enjoy interacting with people in social gatherings and intimate one-on-one situations.
I’ll admit this is fairly vague and kindof a small recap of what was said at the beginning, but still true nonetheless.
Well, that does it for my root number. Now here’s what it says for the exact day, July 21:
People born on this day have a way with words that make them fine writers, debaters, politicians, and salespersons.
I am a writer and a salesman; in short, that’s what a copywriter is. When I was little, I’d stand in certain sections of the store while mom did her shopping, and try to sell one of the nearby items to passersby. I remember that I often at least interested them, and sometimes even made a “sale” or two before mom came back from getting our groceries.
Although you’re an innovative thinker, you often feel caught between the innate originality of the root number 3’s vibration and the conventionality of your Cancer sun sign. You can cloak your insecurities in bravado, but they’ll continue to thrive just beneath the surface of your consciousness. Half the time, you’re the sensitive, imaginative, intuitive person who understands the world through feelings and emotions. During the other half, you are a cerebral, rational being living in a mental atmosphere of words and ideas. When one side or the other gains the upper hand, you can experience feelings of distraction, anxiety, uncertainty, and may even get eccentric at times.
This is a fine description of my personal tug-of-war between my desires to be creative (create 3d animated shows, short films, movies, and the occasional still image) and my love of science, philosophy, and exploring the strange and unknown. Sometimes the creative side takes over and I become weird in an “arty” sort of way. Other times the logic side hijacks control and I lock myself up in some room, working on mathematical relationships between sun spots, gravity, the I Ching, and the stock market. (Notably, it’s also around this time that I begin to see 11’s every time I turn to a clock… but I’ll talk about that in another post sometime.)
Your strengths lie in creative self-expression and ease of communication. You enjoy talking about your ideas and your feelings, and you encourage others to share theirs.
Yes, and I get very frustrated when people hide their real thoughts and feelings. I hate dealing with people on an artificial level and am sometimes perceived as unorthodox in how I usually say exactly what I mean.
You posess excellent money-making ability and know the worth of most goods and services. Whether in business, the professions, or the arts, you know what people will buy and how much they are willing to pay.
I’ve been pretty good with price points, and so far (knock on wood), I’ve done a decent job at keeping myself out of the traditional workforce by working at home on my own projects. In most cases, I actually loathe many things “traditional” and the United States job environment certainly takes the cake. I’ve never been much one for doing another man’s bidding.
In an intimate relationship, you make a loving partner. Perceptive and caring, you want the very best for your loved one. Nevertheless, you are unwilling to forgo companionship in favor of romance. Without a meeting of the minds, you may get bored and lose interest.
Yes, I’ve become bored with many girls in the past. Some people say the Cancer man wants what he can’t have. I’m not sure if that’s true or not, but I know there has to be something awesomely special about a girl before I’ll commit too many resources to her. The upside to this is it creates high quality, low-drama relationships. The BAD part is it considerably shrinks the pool of suitable women, thus making the recovery time between relationships unusually long… and if you ask me, often frustrating. As a result, some people have called me out, declaring me “too picky” or a guy with “too high standards” that can not be met by ordinary girls. Well, if my crime is wanting only the best in life… then I am surely guilty. Ordinary people can have the ordinary girls, for all I care
Now for my ascendant (rising) sign, which is Aquarius. This is especially interesting because my friend Jason’s SUN (main) sign is Aquarius. Here is what is said about Aquarius Rising:
Aquarius Rising gives you a detached, intellectual outlook, combined with considerable mental poise. You stay cool under pressure and take sudden shocks or unexpected changes in your stride.
Keep in mind that the rising sign has more to do with general disposition and outward perceptions than it does “inner nature” temperament like the sun sign. If this “detached, intellectual outlook” sounds like it conflicts with my Cancer creativity and sociability, that’s because IT DOES. I struggle with that almost on a daily basis. Speaking of staying cool under pressure, one time I remember driving down a very icy road with my friend Andrew, who is also known for his composure. The tires slipped on a turn and all of a sudden we were literally sliding down a hill sideways, which eventually became a full 360 degree spin. After awhile, miraculously the car spun back into place where it could be driven out safely which is exactly what we did. Throughout this whole time, Andrew and I had stone cold emotionless expressions, stared straight forward out the windshield and never uttered a word. After the car leveled out and we continued to drive, we looked over at one another and burst into laughter… which is the part that made is so memorable for me. There are several other stories I could tell about remaining calm in distress (like the time a gas pump blew up, erupting into a pillar of flame 8 feet away from my car…) but I’ll save those for another time.
An interest, not to say a fascination with the bizarre and unusual can lead you down some rather interesting pathways.
I have always been interested in the mysterious, strange and unknown areas of human experience. My friend Jason is too… but since I am Cancer with Aquarius Rising, and he is pure Aquarius, we go about it different ways. For me, science and discovery is about the sense of adventure and knowing forbidden fruit. For Jason, it’s more about finding an inherant truth to systems and existance. Same interest, different reasons.
Status, power, and wealth are of marginal value, for you are interested in people for their own sake, not the social trappings which accompany them. Friendships are easily made and not so easily broken, for your air of easygoing familiarity and pleasant demeanour is rather attractive.
Once the ties are secured, I am very loyal to friends. I am seldom impressed by status, power, and wealth and like to see straight through to the real person. A few months ago, I remember riding in this guy’s new Maserati. All the other guys around me were oogling the car and making jokes about excuses to take it out for a spin; maybe impress some girls or something. But I remember not being impressed and feeling quite odd about it. Sure, it was a fine car, but… when I heard about how it broke down on the way back from the east coast to Missouri… and how much time, hassle, and money it took just to find a shop who had the ability to get the parts and knowledge to repair it… and how my car has never failed me, and is an excellent-looking car to boot… it helped put everything into perspective. Reminds me of the tortoise and the hare or something like that
Ruled by Uranus (lord of reversals and unexpected upheavals) and Saturn, lord of karma (purification and restriction), your personality can be changeable, yet deeply focused and quite original in approach. Most likely your life will undergo one or more dramatic changes of direction, often through some twist of fate or circumstances over which you have no control. Changes can occur suddenly and unexpectedly, for though Saturn’s influence implies a calm and stable disposition, Uranus often reacts in quite unexpected ways.
There’s not a whole lot I can say about this part right now. Ask me again in 70 years.
Unpredictable and independent, you can be argumentative and love to play devil’s advocate. You need your personal freedom, so when you marry or form partnerships you should choose your partners with care, since you are quite unable to put up with possessiveness and over-dependence. You enjoy physical and mental stimulation and whilst you are keenly interested in the future and are fascinated by the past (especially the offbeat, little-known areas), you somehow lose track of what’s going on in the present. Ahead of your time, others may perceive you as out of step with the rest of society.
I’m all about personal freedom and doing whatever I want in this short time we’re on this planet together. I’m afraid of being “tied down” to something and feeling “trapped.” And it’s also true that I have problems with living in the present moment… but I’ve been working on that lately, trying to stay focused on whatever is happening around me in the here and now. It’s working, and things are better. As for being “out of step” with society, it’s true that I’ve never done anything the “conventional way” - but I do not go out of my way to be different… it’s just how things usually happen for me.
Your strong physique and reserves of stamina, combined with your notorious stubbornness makes it difficult to break undesirable habits and behaviour patterns. Your independence is legendary and, of course, you do tend to be somewhat opinionated, especially in matters that have stimulated your interest in the offbeat. Others stand little chance of changing your ideas, for you must become convinced on your own account that such changes are necessary.
More of the same, as above. Though I’m not nearly as stubborn as I used to be. I’m a LOT more free-thinking than in times past, less likely to be held to outdated ideas when new ones present themselves.
You probably like science, sociology, music and design, while your pursuit of hidden things and unusual research can lead you to an interest in astrology and other arcane matters. You are good with money, which tends to come your way unexpectedly, yet appropriately to your lifestyle.
Yes, and yes. Not a whole lot I can add to that.
You may have noticed how Aquarius compliments a lot of my Cancer attributes but conflicts with the creative and more “free-wheelin’” aspects… and I can tell you, that’s presicely what happens in my real life. It’s the reason my friend Jason and I are such good friends, despite being at odds sun-sign-wise, and the reason why we conflict on certain points of purpose, direction, and morality. It’s fun. It makes us interesting and most importantly… human!
Random Facts About July 21
July 21st marks the Mayan New Year, which is still celebrated in parts of Mexico and Central America. Indigenous people welcome the sacred day with special feasts and prayers in honor of the old gods. The day also honors the Greek seer Damo, daughter of the sage and philosopher Pythagoras, who entrusted all of his secrets to her.
Ernest Hemingway was born on July 21 as well. Just thought that was interesting. I like Hemingway
As I’ve shown here, there’s a lot more to astrology than first meets the eye. And I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again, IGNORE THOSE STUPID HOROSCOPES YOU FIND IN NEWSPAPERS, MAGAZINES, AND TABLOIDS… they’re not done by real astrologers and are 99.9% of the time a complete waste of time - certainly nothing to base your opinions of astrology on, by any stretch of the imagination.
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Tags: 3, aquarius, ascendant, ascendant sign, astrological, astrology, cancer, cancer man, july 21, mayan new year, numerology, personality, rising sign, root number, study astrology, sun sign, zodiacTopics: Strange & Unknown | No Comments »
Jeff Paul Teleseminar Call Gone Horribly Wrong
August 19, 2008
Have you ever been on one of those teleseminars where they pitch you something?
I have. A shitload of ‘em. And I love it.
Why? Because recording successful teleconferences by well-known pseudo-celebrity marketers is a great way to discover new appeals, offers, and selling strategies that’d otherwise fly under the radar, completely unnoticed. As a copywriter, they’re good as gold.
But they don’t always go as planned. Some of them tear apart at the seams…
…And some of them downright suck.
In February of 2006, famous marketer Jeff Paul (best known for his excellent old “How To Make $4,000 A Day Sitting At Home In Your Underwear” ad) did a joint venture with some idiotic company, pitching some innane “Internet Business In A Box” shit-wad of crapola.
Bad move letting these guys have a free run at your teleseminar list, Jeff.
But as god-awful as the company’s ad was, it’s not the issue here. No, what was most interesting (and hilarious) was what happened AFTER the pitch was over and everybody on the call was supposed to hang up and go buy the latest turd-ball money-making gizmo.
Like all of Jeff’s teleseminar work, I began recording the thing far in advance. But that particular day I hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before and was tired. Real tired.
Within 5 minutes I drifted asleep on the call, while my little digital recorder captured every juicy detail.
When I awoke, the call had been over for 45 minutes! I rustled around, trying to hear what was going on, when some guy on the line belted out, “Who the HELL is still on this line!?!?”
I hung up immediately.
Then I checked the recorder. Tons of bad copy sales drivel. Gobs of it.
But then… something surprising… then funny… then instructive…
As you listen to this recording, keep these things in mind:
1. If you ever joint-venture with someone and let them use your list, YOU BETTER MAKE DAMN WELL SURE YOU KNOW WHAT THEY’RE GOING TO BE PITCHING THEM. In this case it was some fart-worthy product called Ispeedway (Internet Speedway) or whatever. And it was pitched by an obvious recording from some robot pitchman who couldn’t sell water in the desert. Not only does this kind of thing result in poor sales, but it also makes you look like a bumbling doofus to your customer list. Bottom line: Don’t do it. It’s not worth a few bucks to soil the good name you took so long to build.
2. The disconnect between the pitch and the listeners is blindingly obvious here. These guys were not being talked to by someone who understood them and could talk their language. Sure, these guys were looking to make some money, yes, but so is everybody else on the face of the planet. There was no real message-to-market match with this business opportunity (biz-op) market here.
3. Listen to how the biz-op market buyers REALLY talk. Get a feel for it. These guys are YOUR customers too. They are having REAL conversations about this stuff, trying desperately to find solutions to their problems. And what do they get? A buffalo shit-bomb from someone who couldn’t give a damn. Whether you think these guys are very bright or not isn’t the point… they still deserve better. People don’t buy from big companies or faceless robot pitchmen… they buy from PEOPLE… people just like them. And Jeff Paul does an excellent job of that. It’s one of the big reasons he’s so successful. That’s why I still can’t believe he let these numb-nuts use his list.
4. Despite that, it’s still funny to listen to them muse about making money.
Here it is… enjoy…
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Tags: biz-op, copywriting, funny, hilarious, Humor, internet speedway, ispeedwayorder, jeff paul, jeff paul teleconference, jeff paul teleseminar, marketing, message to market match, teleconference, teleseminar, weirdTopics: Humor | No Comments »
How To Make Your Job Sound More Interesting
August 14, 2008
Everyone, no matter what, should have an answer to the age-old question, “So, [your name], what do you do?”
Preferably a damn good one.
It’s the inevitable question that comes up at any social function. Yet for all its commonality, it’s incredibly rare for someone to have an uncommon answer.
“Me? Oh, I’m an engineer.”
“Oh, yeah, I’m a DJ down at the Juke Joint.”
“I’m a roofing contractor.”
“I’m a mortgage broker.”
Whatever.
The list goes on and on. We get asked this question all the time because it’s an established friendly sociable thing to do when getting to know new people. It’s accepted and expected, especially in today’s world where one’s job increasingly defines their life.
And even though you are in fact NOT your job (your job only defines a very small part of your life potential), it is still a socially smart use of your energy to think about what you REALLY do for a living, and then telling people about it when they throw you the old “So whaddya do?” line.
The effects of this technique are life-transforming… at least, socially. With your new answer to that question, immediately you’ll notice a change in how people perceive you. What was once dull and boring will burst with life into a new sense of identity and purpose. People will admire your passion and determination for endeavors that, under normal circumstances, would seem tedious and unfulfilling.
And best of all, you don’t have to be James Bond or Hugh Hefner to pull it off…
Here is what you do:
First, think about what you do for a living. Not your “title” or your “occupation”… none of that. Instead think about what you actually DO for people throughout the course of your day.
What service do you provide?
Dig deeper.
What benefits does this service provide to people?
Dig even deeper.
What emotional reaction do people have when they experience these benefits?
Deeper still, ultimately what will your service and these emotional benefits end up producing for people in the long-run? What meaning will it give to their lives that would not have existed otherwise?
“But Greg,” you whine, “I don’t do anything special like that. I’m just a [...insert name of supposedly boring profession here...]
You’re not thinking hard enough. I don’t care if you’re a computer programmer, a shelf-stocker at Wal-Mart, or some guy who tallies points on Bingo night at the old folks home, THIS CAN WORK FOR YOU.
As an example, a long time ago I used to tell people “Oh, I’m a copywriter.” Quickly I discovered most people have no idea what a “copywriter” actually is, let alone enough interest to delve any further into it. More often than not, they’d either just pretend to know what that was and move on to another topic, or they’d make some comment about copyrights and trademarks.
*SIGH*
“Hmm, ok, so ‘copywriter’ doesn’t work because no one knows what it is. So I’ll come up with something different,” I thought.
My change?
“I write ads.” or sometimes… “I write advertising.”
Yup, that’s what I do. “I write ads.”
This worked a little better, but still I could feel the boredom and, sometimes, disgust creep over their faces in short order. Very seldom would anyone outside the industry who wasn’t into “marketing” ask much else about it.
Another dead end. Back to the drawing board.
Then, one day I was reading “Breakthrough Advertising” by Eugene Schwartz, one of my personal heroes - not only in marketing but life in general. And it hit me - copywriting, the act of formulating words into a persuasive symphony of ideas for the purpose of motivating someone to buy something, change a belief, or whatever, was FAR more than merely “writing ads.”
Hell, I was doing the whole profession a disservice by summing it up like that. And by extension, I was robbing myself of much needed direction and purpose. I had grown jaded and needed something to attach to and believe in again.
So here was my first change. It went something like this:
“I’m a writer, but that’s only a small part of the story. One of the things I do is travel around to see different places and experts in different subjects, interview them, and then compile their knowledge into an easy-to-read, sometimes entertaining, book or report. Then I write the advertising that sells the book or report to the subscribers to my newsletter and also to a new set of people who have never heard of me before. Then I take those new people and they also become subscribers to my newsletter. I repeat this over and over with a lot of different subjects; basically anything that a particular group of people are desperate to learn or know about (like strange ways to cure a disease or how to avoid tax problems with the government, how to get the best deals on exotic travel, etc) Stuff like that.”
This got an immeasurably better reaction from just about anyone, most importantly of whom were attractive girls who were genuinely interested in me. This kind of answer only served to fuel the interest to greater levels.
But after reading Gene’s book, a new world opened up to me in this profession I only vaguely knew existed before:
The force that creates sales, that powers our present economy, is desire. Mass desire, spread among millions of men and women. And the art of salesmanship, fundamentally and primarily, is expanding this desire. Expanding it horizontally, among more and more people.. and expanding it vertically, by sharpening and magnifying it - by building it to such a pitch, it overcomes the obstacles of skepticism, lethargy, and price… and results in a sale.
As John E. Kennedy and later Claude Hopkins famously said, “Advertising is salesmanship in print.” Therefore, above everything else, advertising is the literature of desire. It is society’s encyclopedia of dreams… our modern-day Book Of Wishes. Advertising gives form and content to desire. It provides it with a goal.
These desires, as they exist in the mind of the prospect before the ad, are indistinct. They are blurs - hazy, ambiguous, not yet crystallized into words or images. In most cases, they are simply vague emotions, without compulsion or direction. And as such, they have only a fraction of their true potential power.
Because of this, MY JOB IS TO FILL OUT THOSE VAGUE DESIRES WITH CONCRETE IMAGES - to show the prospect every possible way they can be fulfilled - to multiply their strength by the number of satisfactions I can suggest to achieve them. I am literally a script writer for human dreams. I am the chronicler of an individual man or woman’s future. My job is to show them in minute detail all the tomorrows that are possible… if only they purchase my product.
In fact, if I don’t sell and present all the benefits and emotional realizations WITH ALL MY MIGHT… I am doing my ad’s readers a huge disservice.
This is the core of advertising - its fundamental function. To take unformulated desire, and translate it into one vivid scene of fulfillment after another. To add the appeal of concrete satisfaction after satisfaction to the basic drive of that desire. To make sure the reader realizes everything he is getting - everything he is now leaving behind - everything he may be missing.
The sharper I can draw these pictures (using words and the occasional image) - and the greater the number of them I can legitimately present - the more the reader will demand the product, and the less important the price will seem.
This is what I do for a living. This is the purpose of my job. And it sure feels a helluva lot better than saying “I’m a copywriter” or “I write ads.”
In fact, one time I even came up with this:
I want you to imagine you are at a very high class cocktail party in the city. And a gorgeous young woman is there who is being courted by almost every man at the party. Each of them chat her up to the best of their ability. They are all trying to figure out what appeal they could use to attract her to them so they could establish a relationship with her.
One guy talks about his show business connections and how he could get her jobs as an actress in several different movies.
Another guy tells her that he represents models and she is so beautiful if they worked together, he could almost assure her she would be on the cover of almost every popular magazine in America.
Several other guys try to impress her with how much money they have. They talk about the companies they own, the yachts they have as play toys, the Ferraris, Lamborginies and Rolls Royces they drive, and how their wealth is so obscene, they and anybody connected with them, will never again have to worry about anything to do with money.
A couple guys are just drop-dead good looking and they try to attract her with their wit, good looks and animal magnetism.
None of this seems to work on her very well.
Then a youngish, somewhat average man walks over to her and whispers a few words in her ear. Her face brightens with a 1,000 megawatt smile she says, “Yeah! Let’s do it!” and she gets up and walks out of that party arm-in-arm with that lucky man.
What did he say to her? Well, that’s sort of what my job is like when I’m writing an ad…I have to know exactly what to say and only have a limited amount of space (usually) in which to say it. So it has to be good, or none of it will work.
What you need to do is get deep inside the matter, and figure out what it is you’re really giving to the world. What is your role? How do your actions ripple outward and affect the lives of other people?
Maybe the computer programmer works for the government. Perhaps in aeronautics. Forget your function. Think about your benefit in a new and interesting way. Now the phrase “I’m a computer programmer” can become “I work with the government on the stealth bomber project.”
Now the phrase “I’m stock shelves at Wal-Mart” can become “I make sure people can always get the food they want. That Hot Pocket you’re eating right there? That’s all me.” (that line’s good for a laugh in a group)
And even my somewhat silly example of the Bingo hall score counter can transform into “I help elderly people have fun and get more out of their time every Wednesday night.” (go for the “aww” reaction)
Ok, you get the idea. It’s all about perception. And perception is reality. You just gotta give it some thought!
Do it right now with your own job, really think about it… and then try it out the next time someone asks you “So, what do you do?”
When you hit it just right, you’ll be amazed how people react to you, now and for the rest of your life.
P.S. So exactly what DID that guy say to the beautiful woman?? Well, as it turns out, he knew something about her no one else at the party knew; the fact she was a coke addict. Knowing this, all he had to do was walk up to her, whisper something like “Hey, I got some really great smack outside in my car, wanna come?” And boom, she was there.
P.P.S. Ok, so realize that maybe wasn’t the fairy-tale answer you had hoped for. But hey, c’mon, it’s a fictional story and its purpose was instructive. Besides, these things really do happen in real life. So get over it
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Understanding Hedonism Part 6: Your Deathbed Review
August 11, 2008
As the morphine drips slowly through the tubes and the blurry, smiling faces of family, friends, and old compatriots smile lovingly upon you, there will come a moment in which it all becomes vividly, unquestionably and inescapably clear:
You were in the driver’s seat all along.
The choices you made determined your path, the opportunities were always there and the ultimate direction of your life was in your own hands the entire time.
When the grand game finally comes to an end, there is nothing more disappointing than the crushing realization that you never reached for the golden ring. Missed opportunities, self-delusion, and misplaced priorities come crashing down like shards of broken glass, reminding you of what might have been.
To look back over the course of your life and to know that your days were wasted chasing after illusions and trying to impress some imaginary figure of authority who was never really there to begin with is to understand the gravity of regret.
But a sad ending is not inevitable. Regret need not accompany you to the other side. If you still have enough strength to lift a glass of wine to your lips, then you still have the strength to change.
Life is but a series of decisions, and you can decide right now to embrace the joys of leisure and pleasure that are rightfully yours. You can decide to follow what makes you happiest and allow pleasure to be your guiding light.
Hedonism is not a dirty word, nor is it an irresponsible philosophy. It is good, it is practical, and it will enrich your life beyond belief.
So before the dire day of reckoning arrives, take a moment to imagine yourself onstage for the final curtain call, and imagine what your answers will be in the Final Deathbed Review.
How did you live?
Did you laugh and play in the sun?
Did you allow yourself to be free?
Did you take chances?
Did you trust your intuition?
Did you treat yourself well?
Did you truly connect to those around you?
Did you learn to give without taking?
Did you ever let go of the pain?
Did you forgive and move on?
Did you live out your dreams?
Did you attempt the impossible?
Did you learn how to love?
Did you take responsibility for your own life?
At the end of the day, it all comes down to you. No matter what your lot in life, there are moments of joy and happiness to be had. You can go out and create them, or you can sit and wallow in a state of self-perpetuated stress and misery.
If you have a dream you should commit to it. For real.
If you find a vocation that you love and you want to be the very best, good luck to you.
But wherever your journey leads you, remember that life is not an assignment. It is an adventure that should be filled with beauty, bliss, and above all, pleasure.
To quote Ted Nicholas, a marketing man I admire and respect, he says:
“This is NOT a dress rehearsal… THIS is FOR REAL… REAL LIFE! Would you rather have the pain of regret or the pain of discipline?”
Couldn’t have said it better myself.
As for me, I’m deathy afraid of the negative of this outcome happening to me. You might say it’s the only one big fear I’ve got left in me. I’m not sure if it will ever really go away.
But I know I’ve got to fight tooth and nail to keep the pain of regret away.
A fight to the death, if necessary.
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Tags: death, deathbed review, hedonism, hedonist, hedonistic, life, life lessons, living well, love, personal responsibility, responsibility, ted nicholasTopics: Philosophy | No Comments »
Understanding Hedonism Part 5: Reaching Nirvana
August 11, 2008
Nirvana’s a term that’s been flippantly tossed around, so its true meaning has muddled over time.
It’s not a location.
It’s not a band.
It’s a state of mind.
Nirvana is the Buddhist term for the quiet state of peace and pure pleasure that can only be found in one’s own private, innermost theater of experience. It’s a place of escape, where life’s sorrows and tribulations fall away and a state of pure bliss is experienced.
It is glimpsed in fleeting moments by the athlete who executes a flawless play of superhuman proportions, by the dancer whose movements become one with the music, and by the lone monk who (supposedly) achieves absolute stillness of mind and spirit. It is the ideal psychological state of harmony and peace.
…And it’s a real bitch to attain.
Every human on the planet has an innate knowledge of nirvana, perhaps from those carefree days in the womb. The trick is to recapture that delirious feeling of safety and sheer bliss.
As we have seen throughout history, attempts to return to the blessed state have involved a dizzying array of practices, but many of history’s grand schemes and experiments have been far too ambitious. Perhaps permanent nirvana is beyond our grasp, but it’s nice to know that little glimmers and spectacular moments are achievable. Whether you take them or leave them is entirely up to you.
You Can’t Take It With You was a wildly successful play by George S. Kaufman and Moss Hart that went on to win a Pulitzer Prize for drama in 1936. In 1938, it was released as a film directed by Frank Capra and starring Jean Arthur, Lionel Barrymore, and Jimmy Stewart.
The premise was simple: A sane girl from a nutty family becomes engaged to a rich boy from a stuffy family. Misunderstandings abound as the rigid stiffs clash with the free-spirited loons, discipline vies with conformity, and hilarity ensues.
But the underlying message of the work itself is not so much metaphorical as it is simple fact: Life is there for the living, and the pressure to measure up to someone else’s imagined ideal is a big bag of shit. In the end, you can’t take it with you.
(Special note: I used to mock the idea of “can’t take it with you” by saying “Of course not, I’m not doing all this so I can take anything ‘with’ me, I’m doing it so I can live a better life NOW.” And yes, that’s right, but it wasn’t the point of the original quote. The original quote was meant to apply to people trying to live in order to please others instead of themselves.)
Bottom line is: What are you living for? What is the point of accumulating massive wealth and never enjoying it? What are you building that’s so damn important, anyway? And if you have kids, wouldn’t you be better off leaving them with a deeply rooted understanding that life is a spectacular adventure to be embraced, rather than leading them to believe the standard old party line of “Go to college, get a job, and work for the rest of your life so your kids might have something better?”
Yes, it’s entirely possible to have the money AND be able to enjoy it; but the problem is, most people go about making money all wrong, and end up wasting their lives in pursuit of the big dream that never quite arrives.
Yes, I’ll be the first to say having money makes life easier. Way easier. But if the way you’re making that money compromises your most valuable asset, your time, then it could lead to serious headaches. Money without happiness is meaningless; I have first-hand experience of that.
Happiness begets more happiness and misery draws in more of the same. Like magnets, we draw unto ourselves that which we emit and we repel that which is contrary to our mindset. Focus on the negative, wallow in your own bad basis, and you will draw even more of it into your orbit. Instead, visualize the life you want, keep it in mind EVERY SINGLE DAY, believe it is happening now, and you will slowly begin to move toward it.
So, if you can’t take it with you, it only makes sense to enjoy it while you’ve got it. Do not waste your power, your energy, your youth, your vitality, or the moment at hand. It will all disappear before you even know it.
And to me personally sitting here just having turned 26 last month, those last few words are a truly frightening thought.
10 Things That Are Temporary
1. Youth
2. Romantic infatuation
3. Six-pack abs
4. Your job
5. Your troubles
6. Professional importance
7. Relationships
8. Debt
9. Hemorrhoids
10. Life itself
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Understanding Hedonism Part 4: What’s The True Measure of Success?
August 9, 2008
Normally, my existential views would automatically lead me to say “Success is anything you want it to be. It’s up to you to give your life meaning.”
And that’s still true.
But since we’re all flesh-and-blood biological machine human beings who cannot rise above our own humanity (not that we’d WANT to, but still) there exists a set of things that give our thoughts, feelings, and emotions a sense of ease and release a steady supply of endorphins into our bodies, giving us that drugged up “natural high.”
As I’ve talked about in the last post, in the scheme of things, your moment-to-moment quality of life is equally if not more important than your long-term successes and failures.
Goals are important and achievement can be extremely gratifying as well as lucrative, but if in the course of your endeavors you have been an overworked, humorless, and recklessly driven maniac, then you have not been successful.
A successful life can not be measured in numbers. A hefty bank account is a very nice thing, and a wall full of awards may impress the dinner guests, but those are signs of a successful career, and not necessarily a successful life.
Your career is not your life. It may be a large part of it, and that’s fine as long as you’ve enjoyed the ride and balanced it alongside your personal relationships and sufficient leisure time with a healthy dose of perspective.
But if your desire to succeed has become all-consuming, eclipsed all else and prevented you from truly enjoying every day, then you’ve missed the boat.
If you want to measure just how successful you have been in constructing your life, then answer the following questions honestly and you will get a very clear picture:
11 Questions To Guide You In Measuring Your Happiness In Life
#1. Do you have stable, drama-free personal relationships?
#2. Do you laugh out loud every day?
#3. Do you instinctively clear time in your day for leisure?
#4. Do you sleep well at night?
#5. Do you reward yourself for your own successes?
#6. Do you make the most of your surroundings?
#7. Are you able to trust people?
#8. Do you enjoy doing “nothing”? (my friend Matt sometimes refers to sitting around talking as “doing nothing” I disagree.)
#9. Are you able to love freely?
#10. Are you able to be affectionate?
#11. Do you live without fear?
Not all the things listed above come easily or naturally to everyone, and some may require a conscious effort. But as flesh-and-blood human being lifestyles go, they are all worth aspiring to if you truly want to enjoy your time on this big ball of dirt we call earth and be successful in living your life.
And, ok, since I posted this list here on my site, I suppose the only decent thing to do would be to answer all of the questions honestly for myself, here on this publicly viewable forum.
The way I figure, what the hell, I’ve got nothing to hide. So here goes:
#1. Do I have stable, drama-free personal relationships? Yes, but in my opinion not nearly enough of them, and not with as wide of a variety as I would like. So while I’m doing “O.K.” this is something I should be working on.
#2. Do you laugh out loud every day? A lot more often than I used to. Not every SINGLE day, but… it’s getting much better
#3. Do you instinctively clear time in your day for leisure? Yes. But sometimes I get carried away with it. I’m still wrestling with pure work versus pure hedonistic pleasure. In past years I’ve rocked back and forth from one extreme to the other. Extreme work and German-like dedication melted away into a sort of free-floating pleasure-seeking vagueness. Neither are good. I need to burn the concept of balance into my brain and discover what it really means. Lately I’ve found that by switching between a lot of tasks during the day, some pure fun, some pure work, some in the middle - seems to help… but I don’t know if it’s the answer I’m really looking for.
#4. Do you sleep well at night? Oh definitely. In fact, I can only remember one night in the past few years that stands out as a no-sleeper due to stress… and that was the night I firmly decided I would in fact journey across the ocean and an entire continent to Saint Petersburg, Russia. It was a mental leap, not a physical one, that caused anxiety.
#5. Do you reward yourself for your own successes? Certainly. And when you’re the only person you know who can afford the things you want, you’re also the only person who can buy yourself gifts. So in a way, I have to… because no one else will.
#6. Do you make the most of your surroundings? Not always, but I am trying harder at this lately. Right now as I write this I’m in the frame of mind that perhaps St. Louis isn’t the right place for me. I’ve had friends say something similar, and even today a guy from California called me to and happened to mention his friends just got back from St. Louis and “Damn, there’s like, NO girls there!” Obviously he’s comparing St. Louis to California, in which case he would be right. The truth is, there ARE girls here, just a lot of unattractive ones, and the ones who ARE very attractive are few and far between. If I were a girl-fisherman, my pole would not be cast in Lake St. Louis. Hell, even a clarivoyant once told me she didn’t think this was my place. She said… “I see you more out west. West of here.” My friend Matt’s said something similar before; “You’re a California guy, for sure.” Maybe they’re all right. Maybe I should pack up and get out of here after this next year’s lease. Damn. Sometimes I don’t know what to do.
#7. Are you able to trust people? Yes, and in fact sometimes I can be too trusting - leading me into scams and stupid decisions. Well, at least I’ve learned from them.
#8. Do you enjoy doing “nothing”? Yes, with friends or alone; nothing is fine. I love thinking and reading. The other day I layed out in the pool and stared at the sky, occasionally wondering where a particular plane was headed, who was on it, and why.
#9 Are you able to love freely? Some past girlfriends would argue with this, but I say for the most part, the answer is yes. The reason they’d argue is because sometimes (true to being a Cancer) it can be quite difficult to pass through my hard exterior and “break on through to the other side” (thanks Jim Morrison), which is where all the deep emotions lay. But once it arrives, it does so very freely. In fact, once a girl has gotten to a certain point, it is very easy for me to remain hung up on her for months and months and months afterward.
#10. Are you able to be affectionate? In a protected sort of way, along with what I just described above in #9, yes. But I don’t think I’m as free with it as I want to be. I hold back, for reasons I’m not completely sure of.
#11. Do you live without fear? This is interesting to me because only a few years ago, I can remember having exact fears. There were certain movies, certain types of dreams, and certain events in life that could derail my brain in fear for awhile. But then, somewhere along the line, something snapped. All of a sudden, I began walking around in a sort of weird Neo-in-the-Matrix-like fearlessness of those old things, ideas, and events. I don’t know what happened. There are still some things I fear, but they’re more of the invisible kind now; hard to define. I’m trying to figure them out. And when I realize their roots, they too will go away.
Well, that’s it. Basically, I need to work on my sense of balance, time, and social openness; try to get that shell to where it’s not quite so tough to crack.
And apparently, according to popular opinion, I need to move out of Saint Louis
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Tags: achievement, dreams, enjoyment, fear, freedom, goals, happiness, hedonism, hedonist, hedonistic, life lessons, solitude, successTopics: Philosophy | 1 Comment »
Understanding Hedonism Part 3: Anhedonia and Utilitarianism
August 7, 2008
Have you come to believe that pleasure and joy are for small children and simpletons? Have you ever met anyone who thought so?
I used carry the opinion that any activity which primarily tapped into the human instinctual “reptilian brain”, or sometimes even the “emotional brain”, was a complete and utter waste of time.
I used to think that just because things like dancing, getting lost in the beat, putting love above all else in life, paying close attention to how everything tastes, and partying in general were all “beneath me”…beneath all of us actually… and just excuses the masses give themselves for being lazy and not doing anything with their lives.
Later, I came to realize my thoughts had been firmly rooted in the concepts of “anhedonia” and a strong sense of utilitarianism.
Since you’re most likely a normal, sensible, level-headed human being reading this, you probably aren’t familiar with any of this. And that’s good thing. But allow me to take you into the mind of these people, briefly… because part of understanding hedonism to gain more pleasure out of life is to understand its opposites.
Anhedonia is derived from Greek, meaning “without pleasure”… it was first identified in the 1890s but throughout much of the 20th century, fell back into the shadows as the concept of “depression” took center stage in the grand theater of woes and maladies.
But unlike depression, anhedonism is not characterized by extreme highs and lows, but rather a consistently low mood and the prolonged sense that life is really no more than a flat balloon.
Anhedonia is often stress-induced. Even lab rats lose interest in the pleasure of the food pellet when subjected to undue stress, so is it any wonder that a frantic lifestyle and frenzied pace should jangle the nerves to the point of numbness?
For me, the problem was not so much stress, but, in my opinion, acquiring too much knowledge for my own good… which I guess in a round-about way caused me a great deal of stress. In the relentless pursuit of knowledge and understanding, there are a few subjects which will disappoint you once you discover their not-so-appetizing secrets. At least they did for me.
One was discovering (and more importantly, ACCEPTING) that biology, reproduction, and “love” interpretations in the brain really are no more than a cocktail of chemical signals shot around, controlled by dictatorial genes in the hopes that one of these days you’ll strike genetic gold and get as many women pregnant as humanly possible.
Following on this idea was the realization that literally everything we posess… everything we do instinctually is 100% based on the genetic goals of survival and replication. And since replication is a form of survival, I guess you could say the only real goal is survival.
An old girlfriend of mine, Courtney, used to try and tell me things like this all the time. But I wouldn’t listen. Comments like hers made me angry, and I would hear no part of it. I was too rooted misconceptions essentially amounting to “specialness” and “magic” when it came to how the genders interact. I thought certain things were “meant” to happen and that there was an overall “purpose” to the grand scheme.
Well, there’s not. She was right all along. We’ve been broken up for many years now but somehow I think the Greg of today would get along much better with the Courtney of a few years ago. Oh well.
Anyway, the mere existence of such a tragic affliction of anhedonia makes it perfectly clear that leisure and pleasure are essential to ensure stability of mind and sanity in general. If you fear you are exhibiting even the mildest of anhedonic tendencies, now is the time to take action, to rejoin the living and step onto the sunny path of recovery, as I have.
The other thing is what I call utilitarianism. It supports anhedonia when the utilitarian sees objects in the world only for their practical and immediate utility = what they can be used for, or used to obtain. This includes how the utilitarian views people.
For example, when the utilitarian walks into a restaurant to be seated for a meal, the greeter at the door is merely an unnecessary distraction from the main goal of taking a seat (which he could find perfectly well himself), so he returns her chipper “Hello sir, how are you today?” with a cold stare, says “Fine” and then immediately looks away into the next room where all the seats are located.
When the waitress comes to take the utilitarian’s drink order, he blurts out not only what he wants to drink, but his actual entire order, start to finish. See, he already knows what he wants. He already has this place “figured out” just by looking at the menu for a moment and taking a quick glance around the room. To take time out to try something new, something he is unfamiliar with, would be to waste a lot of time, and maybe (if he was unsatisfied with the new food) some money too; both deadly crimes to the utilitarian. He hates to lose.
Also, during this order taking process, he does not see the waitress as a unique human being, as you might. No, instead he sees her as a task robot hired by the restaurant to figure out what you want, and go get the food, bring it back, and make sure the drink is always filled. That’s it; merely a means to an end. And only because someone is paying her to do it, not because she wants to. (And I might add, the pay will not come from him… for the utilitarian does not believe in paying robots for menial tasks they should be doing regardless of the tip. In other words, to him they are not providing a service worthy of his ferociously guarded money.) He does not feel that everyday encounters with random people necessitate a “relationship” of any kind, even if temporary. To him, she has no name, and most likely no face.
And after the meal, he pays, leaves, and goes about the rest of his day in a similar fashion - viewing the world and its inhabitants only for what he can get from them, or what they produce for everyone else. No one has any intrinsic value unless proven. Everything is always a means to an end, never an end in and of itself - not even life. He lives in a supposed ideal state of perfection of his own creation. (And in his own mind)
As you can imagine, this is a terrible way to live. But I’ve actually lived it before. It’s a realization that was a long time in the making, but eventually this statement pushed me over the edge back among the living:
Hard as the utilitarian may try, he can not rise above his own humanity.
It took me a long time to realize this, and in fact I’m still in the process of fully coming around to it. A lot has been cleaned out of my mind, but some of the old ideas persist; they are very difficult to get rid of after being burned so firmly into the brain.
The perfection and efficiency the utilitarian strives for only results in a void and meaningless existence. The winners circle he strives for does not really exist. Once he climbs the mountain he strived so hard to summit, all that awaits is solitude perched in his Ivory Tower overlooking the commoners below, proving to himself it is indeed “lonely at the top.”
Someone looking in on the situation from the outside might say “of course this will happen, isn’t it obvious?” But you must understand that for the utilitarian, he is so deeply rooted in his beliefs and behavior, he cannot see the forest for the trees. (Another way of saying this would be, when you’re truly in “bad basis”, you are never aware of it.)
Examining hedonism, admiring the idealism of fashion advertisements in magazines, and observing the way people conduct themselves in general has given me more insight into what it really means to “live life.”
In my view, the only duties we truly have are the ones we agree to consciously. The only default duty we all have is to keep our word and follow through on what we agreed to do (with a few possible exceptions, like say, if the other person fails to hold up their agreement to you.)
This is where leisure comes into play. Webster says leisure is “freedom provided by the cessation of activities; especially time free from work or duties.” It is a simple definition for a simple concept. But in today’s hyperkinetic world, leisure is considered by many to be an indulgence or even a decadent extravagance. What was once an integral part of life has been sidelined in favor of hyperproductivity and perpetual motion.
For those racing toward success and the imaginary winners circle, the mere idea of slowing down and luxuriating in a blissful state of relaxation is terrifying. Thoughts of “falling out of the loop”, missing important communications, or “wasting time” are simply unbearable.
Of course, these people are the dream customers of the major pharmaceutical companies that dispense antidepressants and mood elevators like candy to children on Halloween. Each year billions of dollars are made on the misguided premise that happiness and relaxation can be prescribed and purchased in pill form. Get the pills, get happy, and keep running. That’s where America is today.
Besides anhedonic depression, the adverse side effects of an overachieving lifestyle are many; high blood pressure, insomnia, irritability, mood swings, ulcers, spastic colons, burnout, and heart attacks, just to name a few.
The modern hedonist knows that by living life at a comfortable and leisurely pace, keeping the heart rate down, and mood swings to a minimum, he wins. And by “winning” I mean he accomplishes what he wants in life, enjoying the process, seeing all the sights and feeling all the feelings along the way.
After all, you’ll notice a lot more beauty during a leisurely stroll than you will from the window of a bullet train.
A good hedonist knows that leisure is not a luxury or an indulgence, but a true necessity of life, and it is during leisure time that all the best things in life take place. Meaningful conversation, thoughtful reflection, spontaneous laughter, and human connections rarely occur on a treadmill.
Work, exercise and achievement, when practiced in moderation, have their place in the bigger picture, but life is also made up of small moments of joy - periods of unbridled freedom and daily pleasures that must be carefully selected and savored.
Some girls I’ve dated in the past have tried to teach me something like this, each in their own way, but I am only just now beginning to fully understand.
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Tags: anhedonism, anhedonist, duty, freedom, girls, hedonism, hedonist, humanity, leisure, life lessons, lifestyle, living life, perfection, Philosophy, pressure, relaxing, the good life, utilitarianism, utilityTopics: Philosophy | 5 Comments »
Understanding Hedonism Part 2: Live For Yourself Not For Others
August 5, 2008
History is full of debauched slobs who drank, drugged, and bumbled their way through life, sometimes to tragic ends. Are these to be taken as examples of the “good life”?
Hardly.
As always, the pendulum swings, and the excessive, unrestrained indulgences of our forebears simply represent the dangers of unbridled hedonism. A touch of restraint and self-control would have behooved these messy characters immeasurably, and from their examples we ca see the necessity of balance and practicality.
But now it seems the pendulum has swung to the other side of the continuum in a big way. Over time, and very surreptitiously, the modern masses have been indoctrinated into a mindset in which no amount of work, money, success, or achievement is ever enough.
Step off the treadmill and you will fall irretrievably behind. Sit down to watch the sunset and opportunity may escape you. The once ironic term “workaholic” is now applicable to an alarming number of people, all of whom believe they simply have no choice in the matter.
This, of course, is untrue. One of the inherent rights that comes with incarnation in this world is (hopefully) free will.
Will the business really fall apart if you stop micromanaging? Will the household really implode if you stop cooking, cleaning, and providing? Will your lover really lose his mittens and wander into oncoming traffic if you’re not there to remind and second-guess every step of the way?
No.
And to prove this fact, all you need to do is die.
What would happen then?
Things would work themselves out, that’s what.
The bottom line here is that you are not your job… or at least, you shouldn’t be. You are not a to-do list, a series of responsibilities, or a roster of achievements.
Your life consists of much more than that, and your foremost responsibility is to YOURSELF (unless of course, you made the decision to have kids, in which case your nirvana may be temporarily compromised.)
By ensuring your own happiness and enjoying your own life to whatever degree is reasonable, you will better be able to share your happiness and infectious joy with those around you. Embracing pleasure is not selfish; it is the height of selflessness.
I’ve seen generations of families work hard and sacrifice their whole lives so that the kids can “have the life I never did” - only for their kids to do the exact same thing, as well as their kids - and so on - and so on.
It’s GOTTA end somewhere. At some point, someone has to stop the madness and live life for themselves. And since the only person you have absolute control over on this planet is yourself, go ahead and make it happen. More than likely, the kids will disappoint you with their choices anyway.
So how does your life measure up on the scale of duty versus pleasure? Are joy, indulgence, and leisure high on your list of priorities, or are you living in a horrid little spider hole of cyber-addiction, work-related obligations, and odious selflessness?
The Top 10 Signs You’re In Too Deep
1. You no longer remember anyone’s phone number because they’re all programmed into your cell phone.
2. You instant message people at work who are seated within 20 feet of you.
3. You make itineraries for your vacations.
4. The idea of a full week without internet access fills your soul with terror.
5. You are bored at home if the television isn’t on.
6. You absolutely must watch the news every day to be sure the world isn’t ending.
7. You regularly watch sitcom reruns you’ve seen countless times before.
8. You are unable to sit still and think in silence.
9. Your conversation regularly revolves around the lives of others instead of your own.
10. You buy shoes because they match your iPod.
In the hedonists mind, the oft-praised principles of hard work, driving ambition, and the quest to win are to be avoided at all costs, not only because they are unnecessarily exhausting, but also because they are ineffective. For those trying to push and shove their way to the imaginary “top”, the advice is simple:
KNOCK IT OFF!
Greed, ego, selfishness, and the desire to gain power over others are often the underlying motivating factors behind unbridled ambition, and any endeavor fueled by such ugliness will always result in ultimate defeat. To the total hedonist, it is far better to expend one’s energies in a positive spirit of assumed ease and the path of least resistance. If you focus on the work that truly matters (the old 80/20 rule) and try to enjoy the process, things will go much more smoothly and success will come much more quickly.
If your work is hard, you need to find ways to make it easier. If you’re doing too much, you need to take stock and determine what is unnecessary. The belief that only hard work is worthwhile is completely absurd. Any work can be “made hard.” Planting a fern can be difficult if you decide that blueprints and plans are required, make a spreadsheet listing the tools you’ll need, schedule the planting and run soil acidity tests before you begin.
Just stick the damn thing in the ground and get out of the way!
In Vedic science, the ancient Indian philosophy, it is known as “economy of effort.” In modern times, it’s known at the Pareto Principle. You will achieve far better results simply by applying your energies only toward those things that are essential. Anything more is wasted effort and only heightens the possiblity of complication.
Of course, in the eyes of a true control freak, this may sound like little more than an excuse for laziness, but that is simply not so. It is the efficient application of resources that gets the job done with the greatest of ease in the shortest time possible.
No stress, no fuss, no problem… and there’s time left over for a nice, long lunch.
Energy is a valuable commodity not to be wasted on futile pursuits or neurotic obsessions when it could be applied to the cultivation of love, happiness, and pleasure.
Far too many people apply their energies to the convoluted maintainence of their own egos and their own sense of self-importance.
“The longer the list of duties, tasks, obligations, and responsibilities I have, the more important I am. And the more important I am, the longer my list of duties, tasks, obligations, and responsibilities.”
Whatever.
If those same energies could be freed up, they could be applied to far more noble and rewarding pursuits, and those misguided souls who are chasing their own tails and insisting that everyone else do the same would be a lot more tolerable.
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Understanding Hedonism and Embracing Your Own Freedom
August 3, 2008
“No human thing is of serious importance.” - Plato
“Pleasure is the beginning and end of living happily.” - Epicurus
“A well-spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well spent brings happy death.” - Leonardo da Vinci
“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” - Bertrand Russell
“Somewhere between cosmic freedom and responsibility to the people you love lays the answer to life.”
Earlier this afternoon, as I lay on my black satin sheet bed in my private castle high above the ground reading tales of history’s greatest hedonists, I could hear the pleasureful shrieks and cries of fellow residents of my building enjoying themselves outside at the pool.
It was then I put the book down and said “This is irony.”
For years I never understood hedonism. When I was younger, I never even knew such a concept existed. I was mostly brought up in a world of sacrifice, duty, and efficiency - often of my own creation based on how I saw others living around me, their consequences, and the advice (or lack thereof) from parents and grandparents.
Speaking of parents and grandparents, you probably never met a family such as mine. Imagine a dinner table where family rarely speaks, not because they dislike one another but because they simply have nothing to say that everyone there hasn’t already heard before. And when they do speak, majestic topics like “The Weather”, “What Happened Last Week At The Store”, or the ever-popular “How Good This Food Is” frequently make up 95% of the conversation… and I use that word lightly. What part of the time isn’t spent talking of these things is mostly spent in utter silence… chewing, swallowing, drinking. And repeat.
Then after dinner, everyone scatters off to their various cubby holes to work, lay down, or whatever, rarely to be seen again until the next meal.
The point is, I remember a childhood largely consisting of nothing happening. Only every once in awhile did we do something great and exciting, but they were few and far between. Even worse, there was often no one around to answer all my millions of questions about life; sometimes because there really was no one around, other times because no one knew the answers. No one is to blame for any of this; it’s just something that happens when there’s no dad, mom works all the time to pick up the slack, and everyone else lives out in the country whereby definition, nothing significant ever happens… ever.
So being young and of limited means at the time, I learned most of what I knew via educational TV and books. True real life experience was rare, because when you’re young you have no money and when you have no money, your backyard is about the most exotic locale one can hope for.
In a way it’s good to get all your info from books instead of family members; books are far more likely to be credible, and… most importantly… correct But for life’s intangibles - like anything that involves feelings, emotions, and connecting with other human beings in a meaningful way and using all those experiences to form your own view of what it means to “live life” - books, TV, and efficiency just won’t cut it.
What happened to me when I was little seems to be a microcosm of what’s happening today in the United States at large: Instead of living their own lives and making their own decisions, people are increasingly doing the art of “living” mostly through other people (so called “reality TV”, or for that matter ANY television in general, Ipods, computers, and other bits of technology that continue to separate us from one another, yet ironically promise us greater connectivity.) The only difference is that while I had little control over my situation when I was young, the people here in the U.S. are fully grown adults perfectly free to do (mostly) as they please. Any entrapment they feel exists only in their minds.
So what is “living”? I tackled bits of this in a previous post. Your view of what “living life” means to you is colored by a combination of how you were raised and your base temperament (the default settings of your personality when you were born)…plus a few other pieces gathered along the way.
There are a lot of people out there who will try to tell you what living “should be” or who will force you into a particular way of living - if you let them. Typical examples are religion and patriotism.
Religion = you “should” live this way because it is your duty to God as a created being (and the ideas are reinforced after-the-fact by saying things like “well, even if God didn’t exist, this set of rules is still a great thing to live by… and that’s what matters”)
Patriotism = you “should” live this way because as a responsible citizen of this country, you have a duty to make sure its ideals survive for future generations
It’s very easy to get caught up in these things, and the arguments in their favor can be incredibly convincing. But after I’ve studied deeply into the subjects of astrophysics, astronomy, biology, natural selection, religion, and others, I see no real reason to believe there is any way life “should” be lived a particular way over another.
Instead, I believe life is all about what you, the individual, wants.
This means you have total freedom to choose whatever you want to make of yourself. Total freedom to choose however you want to spend your time. And total freedom to determine what gives meaning to your life, if anything at all.
This is the root of what hedonism really is; it’s the process of discovering that which really matters to you, and then using as much of your life’s time as possible to exploit it as much as possible.
This kind of total freedom comes with great responsibility. It’s a funny thing because you’d think it’d be the other way around; concepts like religion and patriotism bearing the most responsibility of all, and something as seemingly flippant as hedonism requiring the least.
But no. Because if you really stop to think about it, things like patriotism and religion are a way of GIVING UP your personal freedom to some perceived “higher power” or “greater good” whereas hedonism requires you to think everything out on your own and make your own decisions based on these beliefs.
All of this ultimately comes down to the one thing everybody wants: happiness.
A strange and disturbing epidemic seems to have gripped the nation of late in the form of a most ludicrous assumption: “If you avoid all things pleasurable, you will live a long and happy life.”
But can happiness really be found scampering along on a treadmill in a smoke-free environment, iPhone in hand, chasing after the capitalist ideal?
Are 60 hour work weeks, bulging stock portfolios, and a packed agenda really the keys to the good life? I think not.
In recent years, the Western world has become a kaleidoscopic pastiche of bright lights, media manipulation, global gossip, and desperate competition. People stare at computer screens all day, eat lunch at their desks, plan their daily schedules on hand-held devices, and make “play dates” for their children.
Obsessed with becoming richer, thiner, more successful and, implausibly, even younger, millions of us deprive ourselves on a daily basis of the one thing we misguidedly believe we are rushing toward - “the good life.”
After a long workday, we rush home to watch what is amusingly known as “reality television” only to return to the office the next day to discuss the startling twists and turns in the manufactured realities of strangers, our own lives reduced to mere afterthought.
This hectic pace is sometimes cleverly offset by regularly scheduled workouts, carb-free diets, a stiff shot of wheatgrass juice, and two weeks of “vacation” carefully planned online. It’s happiness, don’t you see?
Added to this lovely cocktail of confusion are increasingly capricious laws that have smokers huddling on sidewalks, fast-food restaurants disclosing the shocking news that their food may make you fat, e-mails being monitored, and various restrictions on language and lifestyle in general.
It would seem that we - the masses - have become little more than fat baby ducks who need to be shepherded through life lest we veer off into a dangerous realm of personal responsibility and free will.
At some point, “the good life” became some distantly imagined finish line that could only be reached through psychotic effort and willful determination. Like overcaffeinated hamsters on a wheel, we began running, sweating, sacrificing, and panicking. The weight may be lost, but the self-loathing remains. The promotion may be earned, but the expenses keep rising. And despite all outward successes, the inner feelings of inadequacy and the disapproving sneers of the neighbors seem to become magnified.
Could there possibly be something wrong with this Master Plan? Is there something out there, some lost key to the Kingdom of Happiness that is being overlooked?
Of course.
It’s called pleasure. And whatever happened to pleasure? The Oxford American Dictionary defines “happy” as “feeling or showing pleasure or contentment.” To “enjoy” is “to get pleasure from.”
So, it would seem happiness and enjoyment are rooted in the very principle of pleasure, which is currently on the brink of extinction here in the U.S. And pleasure has always been at the very heart of hedonism since the very first notion came into being back in the days of Ancient Greece.
It is no coincidence that in times of great pressure, stress and strain, people tend to look for means of relief and escape. But if these moments of glorious indulgence are weighed down with unrealistic expectations or feelings of desperation, they often backfire because they tip the scales and throw off the cosmic balance of life.
You can’t run a marathon and then go decide to suddenly get hammered. Bad things will happen. You can’t fast for a month and then eat a whole cake. And you can’t deprive yourself of pleasure and bliss for years, striving to become a superstar, only to try to escape from all the pressure by going on a messy crack bender.
The trick is to pace yourself.
Eat the cake, drink the wine, lie in a hammock and stare at the stars with the beautiful woman you met on the beach… but don’t try to cram it all into a tightly-scheduled six-day “vacation.”
If you give in to beauty, pleasure, and self-indulgence on a daily basis, not only will you be happier day-to-day, you will be less likely to go off the deep end when it all gets to be too much and you finally cave in. One must practice the art of hedonism regularly to get really good at it. (And “practice” means experiencing the wide range of things life has to offer… even if they seem “pointless” at first glance.)
By most definitions, hedonism is considered a lifestyle in which pleasure and happiness are the ultimate goals. And a “hedonist” is one who seeks pleasure and avoids pain above all else.
Somehow, this lovely and charming premise has been twisted and perverted to the point where it actually has negative connotations in the minds of many.
But are the pursuit of pleasure and avoidance of pain really such bad things?
No. Especially not when you realize you can make anything you want out of your life… so why not make it the best one possible? I say this already assuming you are not bound in chains by concepts like religion and patriotism as I talked about earlier.
My beliefs right now stem from these facts, in no particular order:
- In 5 billion years, the Sun will begin to run out of fuel, become a Red Giant and scorch everything still left on earth.
- Even if humans manage to escape earth to somewhere else, eventually the entire universe will die what is called a “heat death”, meaning all the energy created by the Big Bang will run out, leaving the universe a cold, dark, lifeless mass.
- Aspects of different religions may or may not be true, but there is really no way of knowing for sure… and believing in them on total faith seems like a waste of time if we indeed only have 80 to 100 years of life in this existence. On the other hand, if some of them are true, then in the end all will be fine and forgiven anyway because there is no way any of us could have possibly known and it is generally assumed that God is a loving, forgiving being with nothing but the best of intentions.
- Biology and natural selection seems to show us that nothing is really special in the larger scheme of things, and what we have now is merely a brief snapshot in time of an ever-changing system. So it seems like the only purpose we have is the one we create for ourselves.
- Once we die, we’ll probably find out how it all works anyway… assuming of course there’s anything to be found out at all. So let’s just enjoy ourselves while we’re here. It’s the only real thing we can be sure of. (Hence the quote: “Today’s bread is the only bread you can eat.”)
- We are just a speck of a speck of a speck of a speck in a universe larger than we can truly comprehend. Even traveling at the speed of light, we could never explore even the tiniest fraction of the place in a lifetime. Not even several lifetimes. Now if worm holes exist, that changes things a bit, but the fact still remains we know laughably little of what is really out there, let alone how it works.
That last one is interesting because I’ve heard a lot of people using it as an excuse to justify our own insignificance. I disagree. Just because we are a speck of a speck to the universe, it does not mean we don’t matter. Again, we are only as significant as we WANT to be. We are the ones who give meaning to our lives, not some outside force. Bigger does not equal more significant. It’s all perception.
So in the meantime, let’s all discover what makes us happy - what brings us pleasure - and experience those things as much as possible.
Pleasure is good. Eden, if it ever existed, was fun. Excess may be bad, but self-deprivation is just stupid. To live life consisting of only hard work, virtue, sacrifice, and self-discipline is to be a martyr, and martyrs make lousy lovers, friends, and party guests.
Of course, every good thing taken to the extreme inevitably turns bad, but when the true principles of hedonism are employed on a daily basis, the result is a happier you. Granted, that happy you will undoubtedly piss off the martyr next door, but a truly happy person has no interest in such dreary characters.
The truth is, we live in an age of manufactured fear. Television reports warn of everything from terrorist attacks to killer cottage cheese. Some of these threats are real, others only created to control and manipulate the populace. Because when you control people’s perceptions of what “real” is, then you’ve got them by the balls.
Yeah, it can be a rough world out there. But life is about taking chances. Risk and reward. Cigars may be bad for you, but so is getting hit by a bus. Life is full of surprises and there are no guarantees of anything.
Life is unfair… but you know what? That’s one of the best pieces of news we could possibly have.
Because if life were fair… none of us would have the “best” of anything life has to offer.
If life were fair… there would never be any incentive to produce good work or a quality product… because you’d get the same reward as the lazy guy down the street.
If life were fair… we’d all be waiting in line to get our daily ration of soup.
Yes, life is UNFAIR… and that’s the best news I’ve heard all day.
A life lived without pleasure, beauty, and a sensible degree of self-indulgence is a sad and wasted one. Despite what people tell you, it’s OKAY to have a good time.
The challenge is… you just gotta go out there, tell the world what you want, and discover what makes you tick. I think life is all about the process of doing just that, while meaningfully bonding with other human beings along the way.
Don’t be afraid to exist. Don’t be afraid to live. Far too many people are.
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Tags: astronomy, astrophysics, biology, communism, fear, freedom, guilt, hedonism, hedonist, hedonistic, life, life lessons, media, media manipulation, natural selection, patriotism, personal responsibility, Philosophy, pleasure, religion, science, television, the newsTopics: Philosophy | No Comments »